#egmr » Caveshen http://egmr.net Let's Talk Games — Videogame News, Reviews & Opinions Thu, 18 Sep 2014 10:30:58 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0 eGamer Podcast #98: Double Crunch Of Destiny http://egmr.net/2014/09/egamer-podcast-98-double-crunch-destiny/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/egamer-podcast-98-double-crunch-destiny/#comments Thu, 18 Sep 2014 09:00:04 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156855 Recorded: 16 September 2014 Welcome to episode ninety-eight of the eGamer Podcast which was destined to fail but will progress onwards through the hype and hysteria! We’re not exactly sure […]

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Recorded: 16 September 2014

Welcome to episode ninety-eight of the eGamer Podcast which was destined to fail but will progress onwards through the hype and hysteria! We’re not exactly sure what we’re talking about there, but hey! It’s 98, and that’s a really cool number. Special guest this week is returning veteran of EGMR, Alessandro Barbosa.

Topics discussed this week include A MAZE, the Double Crunch and Destiny.

Here are the shownotes for this week’s episode:

  • We take a moment to appreciate Michael Buble.
  • AG struggles to pronounce Lykke Li.
  • Azhar’s PS4 broke while playing Destiny. #BlameCavie2014
  • Our special guest is Alessandro! (Welcome back, Porra.)
  • People are looking for a PS4 Slim already?
  • What’s this we’re hearing about new PS4 exclusives?
  • Have you tried the new Double Crunch at KFC?
  • We make Alessandro proper awkward.
  • And then he tells us about A MAZE indie festival.
  • What are the deep, dark secrets of local websites?
  • Marco shares his condensed opinion of Nvidia’s new cards.
  • WTF is this, actually?
  • We spend a massive chunk of time talking about Destiny.
  • We answer your questions.

Don’t forget that you can subscribe to the RSS feed so you never miss an episode. Enjoy.

Direct Download | Libsyn | iTunes | RSS

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Review: Kinect Sports Rivals Is Sportsysports For Xbox One http://egmr.net/2014/09/review-kinect-sports-rivals-sportsysports-xbox-one/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/review-kinect-sports-rivals-sportsysports-xbox-one/#comments Wed, 17 Sep 2014 11:15:43 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156891 Visit review on site for scoring. Let’s not mess each other about here, if you have a Kinect and an Xbox One then chances are you’re going to buy Kinect […]

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Visit review on site for scoring.

Let’s not mess each other about here, if you have a Kinect and an Xbox One then chances are you’re going to buy Kinect Sports Rivals and play it at some point, just to justify having purchased a Kinect. If you don’t have a Kinect, then you’re not even going to be reading this in the first place. Perhaps you’re looking for a reason to buy Kinect. This isn’t it. It’s not going to help that much with fitness and serves more as a casual offering, and something to show off to friends or enjoy during a party.

I could quite easily have just done this review in six words: “Buy it or don’t, your choice.” But in the interests of having some further elaboration I decided to rather go ahead and talk about the game. So, it’s prettier than previous games in the series, as is to be expected from a ‘next-gen’ title. It has a bunch of sports you can play. But nothing about this game really screams ‘next-gen’ and you could just as easily have found it on Xbox 360 in a previous year. It just doesn’t do anything special to warrant being considered special, and most of its improvements are not even relevant to the game but rather the excellent Kinect 2.0 sensor module.

Here are the sports on offer in Kinect Sports Rivals:

  • Bowling
  • Jetski racing
  • Rock climbing
  • Soccer (Fooball)
  • Target shooting
  • Tennis

There is nothing really standout or special about the Rare-developed Kinect Sports Rivals. It was created for the simple purpose of having something available for the Kinect when the Xbox One launched. Rare, in the process, suffered many layoffs as a result of developing this game. And that’s all you really need to know about the ambitions it had…

If you have an Xbox One and you need a reason to buy Kinect, there are better offerings available. If you have kids and want to play games with them, buy this for them and play and have a good time. Likewise if you have friends over a lot and want to show off motion controls, or just get drunk and have some laughs. This game offers casual gamers a whole lot of fun, for a time. For everyone else, just wait around for better games to come out (Dance Central Spotlight, hopefully) or just ignore Kinect games until some properly creative stuff starts popping up. We’ll let you know when that day comes.

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Review: RYSE: Son Of Rome Is A Stupidly Fun Romp But Fails To Conquer http://egmr.net/2014/09/review-ryse-son-rome-stupidly-fun-romp-fails-conquer/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/review-ryse-son-rome-stupidly-fun-romp-fails-conquer/#comments Tue, 16 Sep 2014 12:45:02 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156575 Visit review on site for scoring. If you’re as big a fan of Russel Crowe’s Gladiator as I am then you would likely find yourself right at home in the […]

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Visit review on site for scoring.

If you’re as big a fan of Russel Crowe’s Gladiator as I am then you would likely find yourself right at home in the ancient Roman setting of RYSE: Son of Rome, from here on simply RYSE. The Xbox One launch title from Crytek is almost a year old but will be one of the fresh, new titles on offer when the Xbox One releases here in South Africa next week. So we thought it was about time we got around to reviewing it. And you know what? Now that all the hype has died down and we can just settle down and play it, we kind of actually like it…

RYSE takes place in ancient Rome at different points in time along the life of protagonist Marius Titus. The game starts out in the ‘present’ and then proceeds to play out more-or-less chronologically as a series of flashbacks as Titus relays to his emperor Nero, whom he is currently protecting from invading barbarians, the story of how he got to where he is. The framed narrative works well to portray a sort-of ‘highlights reel’ of the man’s life, explaining who Titus was and how he became the man that he is. This being a game set in Roman times, there is a lot of historical accuracy with regards to locations and events, but Crytek have also taken many liberties with the storytelling, throwing in some Roman mythology as well as a slightly different account of events as they once transpired.

Unfortunately, just like the movie Gladiator, you’re going to miss a lot on your first playthrough as names, titles and backstories are thrown at you left, right and centre. At first it will be tricky to keep up and once you more or less know all of the big players involved in the story, it ends. To that extent, I’m in two minds about the game’s length. See, it’s not that long. You could finish it in a single sitting if you so desired, with around six hours worth of story content if you don’t explore the mostly linear levels. But it not being that long means you could quite easily just re-play on a higher difficulty and pick up all the story that you initially missed. Hmm.

RYSE is a very pretty game. Gorgeous, in fact. But it’s not nearly as impressive as people are saying it is. Perhaps I’ve been spoiled by the likes of Metro: Last Light and BioShock: Infinite on PC, but as much as RYSE: Son of Rome looks like nothing you’ve seen on a console before, it’s clear that we can get a whole lot better once developers become more adept at taking advantage of the hardware on offer. To that extent, I won’t rave about it as much as others might. It’s sufficiently sexy but you won’t immediately blow your load, to extend a questionable metaphor.

What is worth raving about, however, is the variety of environments presented in RYSE. These range from the stuff you’d expect, such as massive sprawling Roman cities and the inside of the Colosseum, to lush jungle forests (Crytek’s trademark?) and shipwrecked sea shores. These varied and interesting, although quite linear environments serve to compliment the experience and took my breath away at least once per level. The game is very aware of this as well, placing ‘Vistas’ as collectibles for players, wherever there’s something pretty to look at.

On the subject of visceral and pretty to look at, I’ve not seen more beautiful deaths in games of this nature since maybe Darksiders. Combat is a mix of sword and shield attacks using the X and Y buttons (hold for power attacks) as well as deflecting enemy attacks using A, and rolling out of the way with B. Once you’ve weakened an enemy enough, tap RT to execute them which begins a short quick-time sequence and then just hit the relevant buttons depending on the colour the enemy glows; blue means X, yellow means Y. This is more or less how you will overcome almost every fight, with not that much in variety over and above this. Thing is, it might not sound like much but it’s quite a blast to play.

When we first saw trailers and the like for RYSE, we immediately assumed the entire game would be a series of quick-time events. In practice, yeah there are some and it’s not the coolest thing to see in a ‘next-gen’ (current-gen now?) game, but it’s not nearly as prevalent and combat is more along the lines of a third person action game, such as the aforementioned Darksiders, or Lollipop Chainsaw. Dodge duck, dip, dive and dodge enemy attacks, hit them with your shield, a few attacks with the sword, repeat until you can execute and then hit the quick-time event buttons for maximum points from kills. There is also a ranged option using (effectively) spears that you will almost never use unless you’re forced to by the story.

Combat is complimented by various upgrades and abilities for your character, with four possible power-ups for executions which grant you either bonus damage, health, focus or experience for every successful execution. Focus is your special ability in the game, and works a lot like bullet time. You build it up by battling and killing enemies, then unleash it in little bars at a time, slowing down time and granting you faster, more damaging attacks. Both your variety of executions and your Focus, as well as your Health bar, can all be upgraded by using experience points from kills — or if you’d like, microtransactions.

Regarding killing, there most certainly is a lot of it in this game. And a lot of different kinds of enemies to kill; you certainly wouldn’t think so given that they’re all just humans effectively, but you can fight regular soldiers as well as shielded ones, slightly more agile dual-wielders, brutish bigger enemies and there are even a few boss battles, although those are slightly underwhelming because it’s just a case of finding the one method of doing damage that works, and the result is a bout of trial and error until you do. Still, I’ll grant that the variety really mixes things up and forces you to change your strategies on the fly, depending on which enemy types you are currently fighting.

Every now and then regular combat is broken up by segments in which you must command a troop of soldiers. During these segments you will either issue commands to troops based on the area around you — so for example, placing archers and footsoldiers strategically to hold a position, where for example archers on the top of a wall could eliminate siege fire but if you put them on the bottom of the wall they could eliminate enemy archers instead, or provide volley fire. More on this shortly. There are also sequences where you must advance on an enemy position under fire from arrows. During these sequences you control an entire unit together, bringing up their guards while under fire and then using the time in between to dispose of the enemy archers. It’s not the height of tactics and it will never win any awards, but it was still a refreshing change of pace.

Some mention must now be made of how well the Kinect works with the game. It’s entirely optional and doesn’t force you to stand in a weird position, but rather only takes advantage of voice commands. When you have archer support, and for various other sections through the game, you can scream out commands to get your soldiers to do whatever you’d like, so for example volley fire or requesting backup, and so on. I tried, quite comically, to scream out these commands in various silly voices and Kinect picked up every damn one of my commands.

In all though, these sections serve well to break up fights and are timed adequately. Typically around times when I was starting to feel as if enemies were just being thrown my way in order to prolong the game and play the role of cannon fodder, effectively. So I have to give some kudos to Crytek for pacing their game really nicely in this respect.

If I had a few complaints about the game, a lot of them would centre around a feeling of being entirely lost in the swing of things, a lot of the time. For example, let’s talk about the interface for the game. It consists of three menus, one for singleplayer, one for multiplayer (coming to this) and one for upgrades. That’s it. But they’re so clunky and hard to navigate that they start to become detracting, so I would try my best to never be in the menus as a result. Even the upgrading is never quite explained and consist of a series of pictures and text, but with little in the way of actually showing you or helping you to understand just what is going on.

Then there’s the fact that everywhere else, the game tries too hard to account for casuals to the point that it starts to treat you like an idiot. Objective markers for example, start to pop up if you don’t progress quickly enough. Great for when you’re lost; somewhat condescending for when you’re just exploring. On easier difficulties, the entire game is basically a QTE because all other combat is removed. The story as well seems to not be entirely sure of its audience, at times steeped in realism and structured like a serious adult drama, but at other times delving into mythology and showing us fantasy elements that make it seem as if two different games are currently being played; that of the players and that of the ‘god’ characters within the story.

Finally we come to multiplayer, and I’m sad to say that there isn’t very much here. You have either online cooperative or solo modes to choose from, which each of them placing you in the shoes of a Colosseum fighter who must then overcome a series of challenges in order to win the round. Challenges range from killing enemies to holding areas to achieving some objective. The Colosseum itself can shift to be all kinds of different environments. You can also pick a ‘god’ which grants you execution bonuses like in singleplayer, but just one per character. And then when you’re done, you can spend those experience points on multiplayer upgrades. I’m not sure why Crytek thought of putting this mode in; it’s fun, but the novelty wears off fast and the level 150 achievement is honestly a joke. I would have preferred if they just stuck to the far-better story.

It speaks of a developer that didn’t really understand its audience and that’s actually okay because when you think about it, who really knew the type of players that would be picking up an Xbox One early? They had to cater to the hardcore as much as to the casual, as well as those looking for both a story and an online experience. And they had to do all of this with a game that was originally announced under a different name way back in 2010 as a Kinect-only offering.

So at the end of the day, is RYSE a good game worth purchasing? Well not at its original launch price but at the reduced price it will launch for here, sure. It’s actually quite fun, despite being shit. But since critique is not the same as review, I cannot fully purport that you will experience the same fun that I had with this game. And at the end of the day, RYSE is still not a ‘truly next-gen experience’ insofar as, I could have got this game on an Xbox 360. It’s for these reasons that RYSE gets the score it has been awarded.

I hazard to compare it to the Transformers movies, but that’s kind of the best way to say it. It’s visually splendid and the story is convoluted and beyond belief (although at least RYSE’s story has redeeming value) but you’re still going to have a good time and you’ll feel a sense of entertainment while battling through its levels, so if this is what the game sets out to achieve then mission accomplished? We’ll leave it up to you to decide if you’re a fan of these types of games as we’ve explained them here today, but for us it just falls a little short of conquering our hearts.

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Our 98th Podcast Records Tonight — Ask Us Things http://egmr.net/2014/09/98th-podcast-records-tonight-ask-us-things/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/98th-podcast-records-tonight-ask-us-things/#comments Tue, 16 Sep 2014 09:00:33 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156778 One of my favourite numbers in the world, because it’s a combination of two of my favourite numbers in the world and also a totally real actual butterfly, as I […]

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One of my favourite numbers in the world, because it’s a combination of two of my favourite numbers in the world and also a totally real actual butterfly, as I recently discovered; tonight your favourite haters of all things (and maybe a special guest whom you all know and love) will be settling down to record episode ninety-eight of the eGamer Podcast. There’ll likely be a lot of Destiny talk again, maybe.

This article is your chance to get involved. Ask us questions by posting them in the comments section below. They can be about games or about anything else you’d like, be it movies, music, series, comics or even health and sex advice. If you have something to ask, we have an answer for you… in theory.

Then be sure to check out either the site, our Libsyn page, iTunes or our RSS feed later in the week for the podcast, which will have all the answers and more. Tell your friends!

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Xbox South Africa Releases Xbox One Videos And A Possible Competition http://egmr.net/2014/09/xbox-south-africa-releases-xbox-one-videos-possible-competition/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/xbox-south-africa-releases-xbox-one-videos-possible-competition/#comments Mon, 15 Sep 2014 15:00:12 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156769 The South African release of the Xbox One is imminent; in just a few more days, the new Microsoft console will release locally and hopefully many gamers will be rushing […]

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The South African release of the Xbox One is imminent; in just a few more days, the new Microsoft console will release locally and hopefully many gamers will be rushing to stores to pick up their shiny new pieces of hardware, just in time for the slew of game releases from now until next year.

Originally this article contained the video above, which was recently released over on Xbox South Africa’s YouTube channel, as the local branch began to kick up promotion and marketing of the console here. We’ve since updated the article to include a second video below, which contains what looks like a competition of sorts.

Let’s first talk about the video above, which features Xbox’s Social Media Manager for EMEA, Graeme Boyd, who recorded a special message just for South African gamers. He even tries to drop the word “lekker” in there, so that’s a thing that a Scottish man has now done. Better still, we’re currently the only country with a dedicated Microsoft-approved Xbox One video, so that’s nice.

The second video seems to be some sort of competition, with the message, “There is a glitch in the system, can you crack the code? Where will it lead you? Your journey starts here.” Presumably, win an Xbox One?

There currently isn’t much more on the details, for example the whats, whens and hows. Still, do check it out and be sure to make a note of any details you enter there.

Thanks to NAG Online and Vamers for the videos and articles.

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Life, The Universe And Gaming: Conversations With My Xbox http://egmr.net/2014/09/life-universe-gaming-conversations-xbox/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/life-universe-gaming-conversations-xbox/#comments Mon, 15 Sep 2014 09:00:30 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156621 We humans are such odd creatures. Lazy, stubborn and with a profound sense of what George Orwell called ‘groupthink’ we will latch onto an opinion or idea that we like […]

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We humans are such odd creatures. Lazy, stubborn and with a profound sense of what George Orwell called ‘groupthink’ we will latch onto an opinion or idea that we like and then find ways to justify that opinion even though it isn’t necessarily our own; whether it is right or wrong. You see, we identify with that opinion and we see in it, something that we think is our own. For example during South Africa’s own ‘Oscars’ where a certain Pistorious was found guilty of culpable homicide and suddenly everyone was an armchair lawyer, with armchair qualifications and armchair commentary on the matter. Thinking that their opinion, because it is an opinion, is correct (False, son.) and that justice is a matter of how many people think a person deserves to be condemned, rather than the facts as presented.

In gaming we have a term for those types: Social Justice Warriors.

With the Xbox One we have experienced a similar sort of thing, with many denouncing the console without having ever experienced the thing for themselves, opting instead to simply ‘accept’ that it’s a piece of shit based on the commentary of some people a few times. Why they blatantly ignored the good things people had to say is entirely indicative of their predispositions but let’s just assume they trusted one source more than the other. And so over time the Xbox One became somewhat infamous, with Kinect its biggest crime. Yet here I am, penning (keyboarding?) a column on why I think Kinect is at its very best with the new console.

If you grew up in the eighties or nineties then there’s every likelihood that you watched a whole bunch of sci-fi movies that lied to you about teased a daring and idyllic new world in which cars could fly and we could speak to our computers and have them do things for us. I really loved The Fifth Element, but then I am a nineties kid…

Realistically we are still to achieve a lot of this. Apple most certainly has Siri and sure enough, the movie her did some creepy and disconcerting things with sentient AI, but for the most part our daily living does not necessarily include communicating with what is effectively a set of tools we use on a daily basis. But the thing is, with the Xbox One, I have been able to do exactly that!

Consider if you will, the scenario of just returning home from a long day of work. You’re taking off your shoes and settling down, and considering a hot cup of coffee and perhaps a bite to eat. You speak out “Xbox, On” while walking about your lounge area, and your console elicits a cheery little tone to tell you it has heard you. Meanwhile, it sees that you’re in front of it and signs you in automatically. You then decide whether you want to play a game or just relax with a movie and instruct your console to do so with either “Xbox Play Movie” or “Xbox Go To Game” where ‘Movie’ and ‘Game’ are whatever you’d like to watch/play. And the Xbox just does it. Without picking up a controller or so much as acknowledging its presence, the Xbox just does it.

What if I told you, I’ve been living that scenario for the past few weeks?

We’re not going to have a very long column today. This week’s entry mostly serves as a tease of the week or two ahead, where I’ll be putting out a whole bunch of Xbox One content. There will be reviews for a few of the launch titles, impressions on the Kinect as well as an ‘everything you need to know’ for the console itself. I may or may not put out an actual review of the console as well, if you’d like to read that (please let me know in the comments). I’ve had the console now for just under a month now, and it has been spectacular, I have to say.

It’s ridiculously expensive as an option with the Kinect but that’s where it really comes alive because this time around, it really feels fluid and responsive, and you’re not often shouting commands into a non-responsive sensor module. It just works, and I absolutely adore it. It honestly boggles my mind how people can be so imaginative as to envision and celebrate a world of technology that is basically Tony Stark’s mansion in Iron Man, and yet resist change so vehemently whenever it threatens their status quo.

“But Cavie you Xbot, it’s just fledgeling technology and I’ll only accept it when it works perfectly.” And you’re right to say so, you PSfag and/or PC Master Race. But here’s the thing, most of the time, it works. Just like how most of the time, your PC will start up and work just fine. Just like how most of the time, your PS4 will actually succeed in downloading that firmware update. Most of the time, you get what you asked for. Yes, absolutely, there was one rather laughable moment when I said, “Xbox, Turn Off” and my Xbox heard, “Xbox, Go To My Games” (hinting perhaps?) but these moments are so few and far between as to be negligible just like any other technology. Your phone freezes from time to time, but do you discard it and swear off it in future? No, you likely succumb to your loyalty and stick with it. Because humans are so prone to resisting change; perhaps we’re just wired that way. Biologists at this point will have a comment. Scroll down and go for it.

Quite possibly the only issue I have with the new Kinect is that it reduces my use of the ridiculously sexy (seriously) new Xbox One controller, with the haptic feedback on triggers and pitch-perfect ergonomics.

In my feature on Kinect, I’ll go into all of the minutia and speak about such things as where it works well, where it doesn’t, alternative uses and how it can be better exploited in its current guise. I just wanted to use a column to put out a more personal impressions-type article about it because for the love of Microsoft, I really do enjoy this console. And not in a ‘fuck the PS4′ kind of way; I truly believe that both consoles can co-exist peacefully.

But there’s just something so comforting about being able to turn off my game using my voice, and then resume later at exactly the point in the game when I turned off (without requiring saves or pausing), again using only my voice. That feels like the ‘next-gen’ we were promised. That is something new. And I struggle with the idea that there are people who think that — okay yes it’s an expensive ask and I completely relate to that, as any kind of ‘review’ will reflect — because a few loud voices have decried the Xbox One before, that effectively absolves them of any responsibility to do research of their own in order to form their own opinions.

I’m sure there are a lot of you reading this who will immediately think, “Yeah well fuck you, Cavie. You’re obviously just a brown-nosing Microsoft fanboy Xbot who hates Destiny and the PS4, so why should we ever take you seriously?” Well how about because I’ve now had just under a month of exposure to the Xbox One, and I actually know what I’m talking about? Oh, and speaking of Destiny… how did that work out for everyone?

Here’s to a proper former-next-gen now-current-gen experience, with the Xbox One and for that matter the PS4. Something different, something progressive, something better. That was all we asked for in the first place, right?

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23 Jump Street Is Actually Happening http://egmr.net/2014/09/23-jump-street-actually-happening/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/23-jump-street-actually-happening/#comments Fri, 12 Sep 2014 11:15:43 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156612 “Yeeeeeeeeeeeah!” Nobody really saw 21 Jump Street being the massive success that it would be, when it was first announced that the old cop show would be returning with the […]

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“Yeeeeeeeeeeeah!”

Nobody really saw 21 Jump Street being the massive success that it would be, when it was first announced that the old cop show would be returning with the woefully underrated Jonah Hill and teen heartthrob Channing Tatum in the starring roles, and directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller at the helm.

Then Lord and Miller did what they do best; they created something truly special.

And it’s not even as if this is their first time doing so. A movie called Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs might not have inspired much interest from the world, but the movie released and was indeed spectacular. So too was 21 Jump Street. And then they went and did it again with a movie about freaking LEGO! The dynamic directing duo have done it deliciously, over and over.

At the end of the sequel to 21 Jump Street, so beautifully titled (and made fun of in the movie itself) 22 Jump Street, a slew of sequels to the series were teased. We’ve listed those titles below, for your reading pleasure. For most people that put to bed the possibility of more sequels coming out, but with a show as popular as this it was pretty much an inevitability that a third would be announced. Seriously, watch the sequel and delight in the amount of fun poked at comedy sequels and how, as if as rare as a diamond, it actually manages to pull it off with aplomb.

Credit should also go to the starring actors, Jonah Hill, who has proven himself to be a comedic genius, as well as Channing Tatum, who nobody knew was this good at being funny before. I mean, all we really knew was that the man had abs and could dance…

23 Jump Street is currently in early production stages at Sony Pictures, with Rodney Rothman confirmed as screenwriter. If you’re wondering who he is, know that he co-wrote the script for 22 Jump Street along with Michael Bacall and Oren Uziel. Whether or not Lord and Miller will return is currently unclear, but we’re really hoping they do. This series of movies wouldn’t be the same without them. Nor indeed Hill and Tatum.

As for the setting? Well… Let’s check out that list that was teased during the credits of 22 Jump Street. Thanks to our friends over on The Movies for creating the list.

  • 23 Jump Street: Medical School
  • 24 Jump Street: Foreign Exchange
  • 25 Jump Street: Semester at Sea
  • 26 Jump Street: Arts School
  • 27 Jump Street: Culinary School
  • 28 Jump Street: Veterinary School
  • 29 Jump Street: Sunday School
  • 30 Jump Street: Flight Academy
  • 31 Jump Street: Ninja Academy
  • 32 Jump Street: Fireman Academy
  • 33 Jump Street: Generations
  • 34 Jump Street: Return of the Ghost
  • 35 Jump Street: Traffic School
  • 36 Jump Street: Military School
  • 37 Jump Street: Scuba Class
  • 38 Jump Street: Dance Academy
  • 39 Jump Street: The Electronic Game
  • 40 Jump Street: The Retirement Home
  • 41 Jump Street: Magic School
  • 42 Jump Street: Beauty School
  • 43 Jump Street: Mariachi School
  • 2121 Jump Street (aka Space Camp)

So what do you think? Firstly, did you enjoy the Jump Street movies and do you think Seth Rogan is finally going to take over from Hill due to that ‘contract dispute’ so hilariously mentioned in the credits? Let us know in the comments.

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Marvel Once Again Uses Captain America To Change Up The Entire Universe http://egmr.net/2014/09/marvel-will-use-captain-america-change-entire-formula/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/marvel-will-use-captain-america-change-entire-formula/#comments Fri, 12 Sep 2014 08:15:22 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156511 Over the past few weeks Marvel has been teasing some news of Captain America. The internet, so fervent in its worship of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe, was eagerly awaiting something regarding […]

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Over the past few weeks Marvel has been teasing some news of Captain America. The internet, so fervent in its worship of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe, was eagerly awaiting something regarding Captain America 3, or perhaps Avengers 2. Instead it ended up just being a special event in LA to celebrate Captain America: The Winter Soldier releasing on Blu-Ray. Meh.

Somehow though, the internet came through for us and here we have a very interesting interview conducted by Crave Online, with co-directors of the Captain America films Joe and Anthony Russo. If you’re wondering who they are, think of Arrested Development, Community and You, Me and Dupree, and you get a better idea of their calibre.

So what do they have for us? Well for one, the script for Captain America is more or less drafted, and they love it. Further, apparently this movie has been part of Marvel Studio president Kevin Feige’s long-term plans for the Marvel Cinematic Universe for a long time now. More importantly however, a Captain America movie might once again be used to entirely shake up the Universe as we know it. And that’s kind of freaking awesome, isn’t it?

If you’re like me and were never really a fan of the walking symbol of patriotism and ‘Murica, then you’d likely be glad for the Russo brothers working their magic with Captain America’s solo movies, making them more about that and all about drastic shifts and set-ups for future movies that don’t stop the movie from being itself an entertaining romp — are you paying attention, Sony?

The first Captain America movie was a good-old-fashioned action movie that served to provide an entertaining enough origin story for Cap while also setting up the McGuffin for Avengers. Cue Captain America: The Winter Soldier a few years later and now S.H.I.E.L.D as we know it — and as has been laboriously set up in the first phase of Marvel’s movies — is gone, with Hail Hydra becoming an internet meme and the Avengers’ fates left entirely in the balance. How could Captain America 3 possibly do it again?

Well for one, there are a few very key storylines still to be told for Captain America. They could take it cosmic and go in an entirely different direction, as a means of setting up for Avengers 3. But we think the biggest hint of what might happen next could come from taking inference out of Tony Stark himself, Robert Downey Jr’s statement that there won’t be an Iron Man 4 solo outing. So… perhaps Iron Man finds his way into a Captain America movie? *smiles cheekily*

Before we even start considering it, it might be prudent to mention that it can’t really be a Civil War storyline just yet because, although that is a very drastic changing up of the formula and would be pretty badass, it’s not quite possible without other major players in the storyline, who are currently tied up at other studios. The likes of Spider-Man, Wolverine, Mr Fantastic and more. Then we must consider heroes who have not yet been introduced onscreen; the likes of Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Dr Strange and Daredevil. So perhaps it’s not time just yet for the likes of Secret Invasion, Civil War and AvX but you can bet your ass that Marvel Studios are working to make it happen some day.

In the meantime, check out the full interview with the Russo brothers here:

CraveOnline: Guys, first question… What the hell are you doing talking to me? Get back to work on Captain America 3!

[Laughs.]

Anthony Russo: That’s excellent advice, yeah.

Joe Russo: By the way we need a break. We’ve been working on Captain America 3 since February. We’re exhausted. So we’re hard at work on it and hopefully we’re going to announce soon and hopefully people are going to be excited as hell when they hear what we’re up to.

I’m excited just in principle. We know the movie is coming out, so what are you going to announce? A plot? A title?

Joe Russo: Yeah, we’d like to announce the title soon.

Has the title been in place for a while?

Joe Russo: If you’ve been talking to Kevin [Feige, President of Marvel Studios] the title has been in place probably for ten years in his brain. It’s all part of the road map that he’s laid out, and it’s all part of the bigger plan.

So as with the continuation of the Captain America story in The Winter Soldier, the third one has been all part of a plan from the beginning? Were you building to Captain America 3 in the second movie?

Joe Russo: Yeah, I think the way Kevin does it is there are big pieces that he knows he wants to build towards, but the way that you get there is open to interpretation and improv a little bit. That’s defined by who gets involved with the project, the writers and directors involved in the project. The big thing we knew we had to deal with in Cap 2 was the fall of Hydra. Similarly there is a very, very big idea at the center of Cap 3. But how we get there is all up to us. And I think why Marvel has been so successful is because it’s been such a clear plan, that everything is interconnected and they’re building emotional capital with each movie that you can then trade off of in the next film.

What sort of pieces aren’t in place? The villain, the main cast members involved, or Cap’s emotional journey, or is all of that part of the major plan?

Joe Russo: No, all that stuff is open for interpretation. Usually it’s just one big idea that alters the universe as a whole in some way, that has interconnectedness that he’s grabbed on to. That’s the case with Cap 3, but as far as villain and story arc and tone, all that stuff is left up to us.

Well how can you possible screw with the universe more than you did in Captain America: The Winter Soldier? You WRECKED the universe in that one.

[Laughs.]

Anthony Russo: Who knows? It’s a surprising universe.

I was able to listen to the commentary track for Captain America: The Winter Soldier. You guys give great commentary track. 

Joe Russo: Well, we try to. That was an important thing for us growing up as filmmakers, is getting real insight. I really liked when I would sit down to listen to a commentary track and the director was telling me very insightful things that were truthful about the process, good or bad, because you learn from commentaries. That’s why you listen to it. You want to understand the finer details of the execution of the film. So we try to be as honest as we can and informative as we can, so usually we try to do a little prep before we get into the room and just try to remind ourselves what was going on in our brains at the time when we shot certain scenes, or why we included things and didn’t include others.

There aren’t a lot of deleted scenes on the Blu-ray, and most of them are just exposition or scene extensions. Did you just use everything or is there a lot more out there?

Anthony Russo: No, fortunately we had a nice long prep time on this and Winter Soldier, and we worked closely with [Christopher] Markus and [Stephen] McFeely, so by the time we got to shooting the script was extremely tight. We wanted to make sure we were spending our money where we really needed to, so we didn’t want to shoot anything extraneous. So we had a very tight script going into shooting and the final edit is remarkably similar to the shooting script.

Are you having that much prep time on Cap 3? It sounds like you guys just jumped right into it.

Anthony Russo: Yeah, I think because it went so well on the last one we really wanted to. You know, again, the thing about Marvel is that the bar keeps getting raised higher and higher, so you have to go to work earlier because you have to keep striving for something that’s hopefully better than what you’ve already done. Yeah, we got to work right away because we feel the heat.

Have you got a draft you’re comfortable with now or is that still in flux?

Joe Russo: Yeah, we have an outstanding draft. We were lucky enough to work again with Markus and McFeely. They’re the best in the business at what they do. They have a really sensitive understanding of character and story, but also brains that really wrap themselves around the high concepts, big superhero concepts. We just got a draft in our hands that we’re ecstatic with.

Do they just try to sneak M.O.D.O.K. into these movies? 

[Laughs.]

I think Christopher Markus in particular is really obsessed.

Joe Russo: Markus is obsessed with M.O.D.O.K.

Anthony Russo: [Laughs.]

Joe Russo: But I can’t tell if it’s that Markus has a very twisted sense of humor. So I can’t tell if it’s part of his sense of humor or if he really, really wants M.O.D.O.K. in one of the films.

We heard that Jeremy Renner has heard rumblings that Hawkeye might be coming back in Captain America 3. Can you speak to that at all? Is that just a rumbling?

Joe Russo: We can’t. That’s part of our cone of silence. My head would explode. You saw Scanners, right?

Yeah, I saw Scanners.

Joe Russo: Yeah, that’s loosely based on Marvel’s policy. Their security team is now… My head will blow up. I can’t tell you.

Let me ask you about the release date. That was announced a while ago. You have to hit that. Is that a lot or pressure or do you feel like there’s definitely enough time and there’s going to be no problem whatsoever?

Anthony Russo: Oh, there’s definitely enough time. I don’t think there’s any problem, especially because we’ve been working on it for five months now. So you know, Marvel’s incredibly organized, a very efficient company. I think what they do different than other studios is they have an extremely efficient post process that’s run by a genius, and I think that makes it possible to execute their movies in a very timely fashion.

Did you always know that Warner Bros. was going to back off your release date or were you nervous at any point?

Anthony Russo: You know, look, the whole issue of release dates? Those main conversations happen in rooms we’re not in. So we’re kind of one step removed from the issue. But Kevin always seemed very confident, comfortable with us being on that release date.

What was your reaction when “Hail Hydra” went viral?

Anthony Russo: [Laughs.]

Joe Russo: That was hilarious. I was actually at Disneyland and one of the workers there told me that they had all written “Hail Hydra” on the back of their name tags, and they would flip it to each other as they walked past each other in the park. We love it. We love when people grab on to irony, coming from shows like “Arrested Development” or “Community.” When it becomes pervasive on a scale like that it’s exciting not only because people are grabbing on to the idea, but grabbing onto one of the more twisted ideas in the movie which is fun.

Was it easier to get Robert Redford for Winter Soldier because he was playing the villain? Was that part of the appeal?

Anthony Russo: I think it was part of it. Certainly it was part of the appeal for us, you know? We loved the chance to use the iconography, history, in a way that fed people’s perception of what a character was going to be, and what the role was. It was amazing, and it was so specific in this case with Redford because of his history in the genre that the movie is set in, especially. I think he liked that idea. Surprisingly Redford has not worked with a lot of green screen in his career. He’s a very traditional, old school filmmaker, so to work in a movie where a third of everything that’s happening isn’t really there was very exciting to him. And he also did say to us, he did admit that his grandkids definitely opened his eyes to the movie as well.

It was something of a sick pleasure to actually hear Robert Redford say “Hail Hydra.”

Anthony Russo: Oh yeah.

Joe Russo: That’s one of Kevin’s favorite moments in the movie, I think.

Chris Evans has been talking about how he wants to retire from acting. Have you had any conversations with him about that? He asked for any advice?

Joe Russo: We’ve talked to him quite a bit about it. I mean, you have a lot of time to sit around on set and talk through stuff. The thing about Chris is he’s probably one of the most technically gifted actors that we’ve ever worked with. He understands the process of filmmaking extremely well. We always tell a story of when we were working on “Arrested Development.” [Jason] Bateman had been in the business for 30 years by the time we worked with him on that show, and we were shooting a scene – I might have even been operating the camera – and I remember it was a great performance from him, and I was shooting over Will Arnett to Bateman and Arnett shifted his body and covered Bateman. And I remember I was about to yell “cut” because we had lost Bateman in the shot, when all of a sudden while he’s speaking Bateman leans to his left and finds the camera again. That’s an incredibly aware actor who doesn’t break performance, it just doesn’t affect him in any way and he can still find the camera.

Chris has a very similar sensibility to him, which is why I think he’s so good at fighting and so good at execution, because he knows how to sell things to which camera. He understands geography and angles. I think he’s really excited about that part of filmmaking. As to whether or not it ultimately will end up leading to him removing himself from the acting space for a while is hard to say, because he’s so successful at it. But I think he’s very committed to directing.

I just want to follow up on something. I was interviewing Anthony Mackie and complimenting him on his flying abilities, and he said that no one really explained to him how the flying was supposed to work, like how he was supposed to move in that harness. Did you just trust in his abilities, or was he overstating it?

Anthony Russo: That was one of the more challenging…

Joe Russo: [Laughs.] Mackie overstated.

Anthony Russo: Mackie exaggerates, for sure. That’s part of his charm. But that was one of the more difficult areas he had, because again, in this movie we wanted to rely on practical physical effects and action more so than computer graphics. So that was sort of the tone that we wanted for the film, so it was very challenging in terms of, how do you make a man fly? That’s one of the areas of the film where we had to rely more on special effects than physical reality. So as we were rehearsing with Mackie it was always a question of finding the line, like what can we do physically with him on wires that’s going to look exciting enough to use it in the movie and not have to rely on computer graphics for that part. So identifying where that line was was always very tricky as we went through the execution.

And frankly it’s going to be something that’s even more tricky as we’re moving forward, because we want to keep looking for possibilities in terms of how Falcon can move, how we can shoot him in cool ways doing things that only Falcon can do? A lot of that stuff you have to rely on real physical tricks for, so anyway I think what he was talking about there was just the experimental process of figuring out… we’re going to shoot him doing something now, are we going to use that in the movie or are we going to resort to a visual effect? As we went through the process we kept toggling back and forth, and indeed all through post process we toggled back and forth until we found the right balance.

Okay, well that’s it for me. Thank you for the interview, I’m really looking forward to Cap 3, and again, I really, really, REALLY hope you’re using “Cap Wolf” this time.

[Laughs.]

I’m not kidding. I will bring this up every time.

Joe Russo: That’s been a big joke in the writers room by the way for the last two years, is when we play our Cap Wolf.

Hopefully sooner than later.

How would you like to speculate about what goes on in Captain America 3? Go ahead and let us know your thoughts in the comments. Also, why not go ahead and tell us what you’d like to see in the upcoming Marvel movies as well.

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Dave Bautista Might Bring Drax The Destroyer To Avengers 3 http://egmr.net/2014/09/dave-bautista-might-bring-drax-destroyer-avengers-3/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/dave-bautista-might-bring-drax-destroyer-avengers-3/#comments Thu, 11 Sep 2014 11:15:34 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156503 That title is mega SEO superiority! Comic book fans and followers of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe, you’ve probably all watched Guardians of the Galaxy by now and loved the shit out […]

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That title is mega SEO superiority!

Comic book fans and followers of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe, you’ve probably all watched Guardians of the Galaxy by now and loved the shit out of it, amirite? The world has certainly fallen in love with its characters, one of them being the brutish but comically sinister Drax the Destroyer, played by Dave Bautista of wrestling fame — although when I remember him as a wrestler, his name was Batista. Was that Vince McMahon’s doing again?

Bautista’s portrayal of Drax was something slightly different to the comics but excellently done. Who knew the man was so good at effectively portraying a role that encompasses both action ferocity and comedy? (Millions of wrestling fans hold up their hands.) Guardians of the Galaxy is now the number one movie of the year in the US (which is where most of this matters, for some reason) and fans are eagerly anticipating a clash or team-up between the Guardians and the Avengers, who are getting their second outing early next year. I cannot freaking wait!

Now a report has surfaced via one of those WWE fan service sites, which states that Bautista is busy “restructuring” his deal with Marvel so that he can appear in more features. An interesting tactic although one, I presume, Marvel might need to talk to the other actors of the Guardians movies about. Nonetheless the strong rumour that has surfaced from this report is that he will have a “significant role” in Avengers 3.

We all know what that means… [cue massive smile]

Know that guy Thanos, who was at the end of the Avengers movie and played a small role in Guardians of the Galaxy? Well he’s a really big baddie in the Marvel comic books and is called the Mad Titan. He is a cosmic-powered (which means really fucking powerful) godlike entity who Marvel call the Avatar of Death. Funny thing about Drax, he’s the Avatar of Life. His full title, Drax the Destroyer? It’s not just a name. He was created for the sole purpose of destroying Thanos the Mad Titan.

And now you see how it all fits together. Avengers 3 might well be the time of the Infinity Gauntlet storyline, as pretty much everyone is expecting it to be. Either that or it’s going to be a massive teaser for a follow-up movie. But Drax’s presence means that together with Thanos, we can also pretty much guarantee the involvement of the Guardians of the Galaxy in affairs. Which means that team-up (or conflict) is a-coming. Question is, which Avengers will still be around for it, and how on Earth are Marvel going to afford that movie? We don’t care, we’re sure they’ll work something out. But it’s going to be great!

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eGamer Podcast #97: Destined For Failure http://egmr.net/2014/09/egamer-podcast-97-destined-failure/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/egamer-podcast-97-destined-failure/#comments Thu, 11 Sep 2014 09:00:57 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156155 Recorded: 09 September 2014 Welcome to episode ninety-seven of the eGamer Podcast where we’ll be talking about Destiny, Bungie and Destiny! Oh there’ll be other stuff but in the week […]

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Recorded: 09 September 2014

Welcome to episode ninety-seven of the eGamer Podcast where we’ll be talking about Destiny, Bungie and Destiny! Oh there’ll be other stuff but in the week of quite possibly the year’s biggest game release, would you expect us to talk about anything else? Fear not, regular programming will resume next week. In the meantime, go ahead and enjoy the Destinycast.

Topics discussed this week included Destiny, Feminist Frequency’s misguided videos, and… that’s right, more Destiny!

Here are the shownotes for this week’s episode:

  • Who’s playing Destiny and on what platform?
  • What’s all this Apple news, hipsters?
  • The Sims 4 and stereotypes.
  • Why are EA so fond of release incomplete games again?
  • What’s up with EA Access and the Warner Bros proposed equivalent?
  • What are Feminist Frequency videos really about?
  • Adam, why.
  • Apparently you need to see this.
  • It’s time to talk about Destiny! (Brace yourselves.)
  • Cavie has a rant… naturally.
  • … the Destiny talk goes on for a while.
  • We answer Trebzz’s questions.

Don’t forget that you can subscribe to the RSS feed so you never miss an episode. Enjoy.

Direct Download | Libsyn | iTunes | RSS

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Hands-On: The Crew Is… Actually Quite An Entertaining Racer http://egmr.net/2014/09/hands-crew-actually-quite-entertaining-racer/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/hands-crew-actually-quite-entertaining-racer/#comments Wed, 10 Sep 2014 12:00:54 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156114 The Crew is most certainly not going to be winning any awards for most anticipated game of the year; nor perhaps even most anticipated racer, given fan reactions to the […]

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The Crew is most certainly not going to be winning any awards for most anticipated game of the year; nor perhaps even most anticipated racer, given fan reactions to the new Forza game coming out this month. When it was first announced, you would have been hard-pressed to find someone who cared enough, especially when it was shown to gamers amidst the likes of Project Cars and Drive Club. But Ubisoft have stuck to their guns and paced themselves well and over time, shown that they’re planning on creating a pretty serious contender to the racing genre.

Last week saw The Crew enter its closed beta on PC. The kind folks over at the Ubisoft branch of Megarom sent us a code to this closed beta that I happily snapped up, and after suffering the indignity of having to install uPlay onto my PC, as well as enduring a lengthy 16GB download, I started up the game expecting quite honestly to be bored mindless by another game that is trying too hard to be pretty without necessarily being interesting. Or, Need for Speed: Rivals.

What resulted was… to be completely honest, quite a surprise. See The Crew is almost definitely trying very hard to be a Fast & the Furious type of game, with a very serious and cheesy storyline that deals with betrayal and revenge; but as is almost always the case with these games, none of that ever matters because the actual racing is just so damn fun and the rest of it then just becomes a compliment. This is more along the lines of what The Crew is like to play.

It’s just surprisingly entertaining.

Perhaps let’s talk about the visuals, since Ubisoft’s biggest selling point for the game initially was along the lines of, “With the power of next-gen you can race with friends in a beautiful open world!” Substitute “race” with various other words depending on what game they’re trying to peddle.

The game looks suitably stunning. Enough so for a game that is targetting the Xbox One and PS4, even though I played on PC. The open world is detailed enough to be believable and quite densely populated in parts; again, quite a boom for game involving a realistic open world. The cars look great, which just makes it all the more tragic whenever you get into a collision and have to endure them no longer looking quite as great.

The open world itself is set in a fictional recreation of the United States of America, and it’s said that you can drive from coast to coast in around ninety minutes. For the closed beta, you were restricted to a single city which in itself was quite varied, offering up urban environments in one area and farmland in another. I took issue with some of the texture resolutions, because they weren’t as up to standard as I would have liked, however everything else was crisp and the level of detail and clarity within a scene was a joy to behold. How real-life accurate the open world will be, remains to be seen. However I would not expect a Google Maps equivalent of the world if it can be traversed in ninety minutes.

Of the fully licensed vehicles on offer in the closed beta, there were just a few. A muscle car, a regular sportscar and one of those Ford sports trucks. However even those cars offered interesting perspective on the deep customisation and tuning options available to players. For example, you can switch between racing disciplines on a single car, taking it from hot rocket urban racer to rally car to long distance cruiser as you please. And then you can tweak almost every feature within those sets. Make no mistake, there is a lot of control offered to racers in this game. In fact, all while playing it I was struggling to really ‘place’ the type of game it is trying to be. At times it’s quite serious and simulation-y, but at other times it’s a lot more arcade-y and is clearly concerned with wanting you to have fun.

Coming back to the story for a moment, it’s not the most original story for a racer — convicted felon works undercover to reduce sentence, blah blah blah — but it does still do its part in evoking a sense of immersion and feeling; you actually want to participate in races, which is something I feel was woefully missing from the aforementioned Need for Speed: Rivals, where I felt I had no purpose for racing other than gawking at the open world in all its splendour.

With that said, I have to admit that I had more fun playing The Crew in my first hour than I did in the entirety of recent Need for Speed titles including Shift 2 Unleashed, Most Wanted and Rivals. Although The Run was freaking awesome… just wanted to put that in there.

It being an open and persistent world that tasks users with teaming up with other players to form part of a crew (roll credits), you are at some point forced to team up with other players and form part of a crew. Here is where I ran into some struggle. First, because it’s in closed beta there really weren’t many people playing and even other South Africans just weren’t playing at times that I was. Then even getting onto the server is a mission in and of itself, and I’m hoping it’s just a closed (heh) issue that will be resolved before release.

So with regards to cooperative modes, I cannot speak further on them. I can say that it was nice to be able to race with humans towards a common goal rather than always competitively, so it’s a really neat spin on the old and archaic formula, if anything. Jury remains firmly out on how long it will remain unique and fun, though.

In all, The Crew looks as if it could make for a really solid racing title. It certainly has the production values, and the world is alive and fluid to the point that Forza Horizon 2 might actually have some very serious competition when it’s out. I just really hope that Ubisoft don’t run into the kinds of glitches and clunky control schemes encountered on PC — but again, not even worth mentioning because this game is in closed beta, so we can’t expect a perfected product. If you are going to be play The Crew on PC, maybe get a controller. The next closed beta for the game will be on consoles, and is slated for later this month. We’ll update this article later with more, if we get into it. Meanwhile, tell us if this is a game that interests you in the comments.

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Let’s Talk About That Spider-Woman Cover http://egmr.net/2014/09/belated-note-spider-woman-sexism-story/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/belated-note-spider-woman-sexism-story/#comments Wed, 10 Sep 2014 08:15:25 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156159 There is a phrase in media known as jumping the shark which refers to the moment something starts to creatively decline. I like to further extend that phrase to apply […]

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There is a phrase in media known as jumping the shark which refers to the moment something starts to creatively decline. I like to further extend that phrase to apply to a moment when something is so ridiculously and outrageously done that it starts to lose a bit of its stature and repute.

For example, midichlorians.

When the Spider-Woman cover pictured above first surfaced and the feminist brigade were on it — I use this phrase with a hint of humour, not maliciously — I had to admit that I looked at my PC in dismay, thinking, “Really guys? Really?” Now of course, I know where the Spider-Woman cover was derived from and I could not have expected most others to also know this. But I went ahead and read some of what people were saying and something became astutely clear to me: The anti-sexism army, who have every right to do this I should probably say, are starting to see sexism where there most certainly isn’t any. At least, not on purpose. And not in that accidental racist kind of way… there just isn’t any.

In any case, for some background, Marvel offered an artist in the porn industry the chance to create a cover art for a Spider-Woman comic. Most comic book readers didn’t have an issue with the way it looked in terms of sexism, but we pretty much unanimously agreed that it is just an ugly cover. Nonetheless, lots of pro-feminists attacked Marvel after the tweet embedded above, causing a bit of controversy in a time when the internet was already reeling from genuine, sincere sexism that really did warrant addressing, ie. Quinnspiracy and thereafter. But we’re not getting into that today.

Then this tweet happened and finally brought some sense into the mix:

Suddenly a lot of really loud voices were almost entirely quieted. Further by this:

10633332_10152247002932109_271203147442428577_o

Now I tweeted that image to someone I no longer follow, who at the time was going on and on about how sexist comic books are, and how Marvel done fucked up, and so on. Of yet, he has not responded to me or for that matter, spoken further about how Marvel done fucked up. Odd, hey?

And the thing about Spider-Woman is that she really is a very sexist character, if you want to look at her like that. She exists to be sexualised and all of her powers are focussed around being sexual and getting her way; well, almost all of them. The idea is that she’s a black widow type of spider (but since Black Widow was taken…) so she manipulates and uses men (and women) as she pleases. But the character of Jessica Drew is actually an empowered one. Kind of like that Destiny’s Child Independent Woman type of vibe, she doesn’t really answer to others and does her own thing. She’s very self-aware as a character.

Of course if you have none of this context then you’re just going to see her and go, “Sexualised object!” But that would be woefully misguided, and a rare moment in which a lot of the sexism soldiers kind of misfired a bit. Not to glorify their miss because in fairness a lot of people, once they realised, immediately stopped firing off shots at Marvel. And I can respect most of them for that, even if pretending nothing happened isn’t a cool way to handle being wrong about something.

It’s just that we’re in a time when it’s so easy to look around and spot prejudice, even when there actually isn’t really any to begin with. And to then caution restraint and encourage further (contrary) thought is to be labelled ‘on the opposing team’ or ‘condoning it’ and that’s not what it is at all. But hey, that’s just what I have to say. What do you guys think? Firstly, is this a sexist cover and should it have been some other design? Or is this a case of misguided feminism and that whole thing about imagined sexism? The floor is yours…

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Which Developers Do Gamers Really Trust? http://egmr.net/2014/09/developers-gamers-really-trust/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/developers-gamers-really-trust/#comments Tue, 09 Sep 2014 14:15:04 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156102 Today is a momentous day for gaming, depending on who you ask. Not only is it the beginning of the so-called ‘true next gen games’ after a long drought without […]

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Today is a momentous day for gaming, depending on who you ask. Not only is it the beginning of the so-called ‘true next gen games’ after a long drought without much in the way of new stuff to play, but it’s also the release date of Destiny, a game that has taken the world by storm (without necessarily having done very much in the way of proving itself just yet). If you’re one of the sad souls folks like myself who isn’t currently playing Destiny then don’t worry, we’re not going to talk about it too much. However it was the inspiration for this article, so it does bear mention.

See, yesterday we asked the question of where all the Destiny reviews were since after all, release day embargoes have become something troubling in recent years, with the likes of Aliens: Colonial Marines and Watch_Dogs presenting underwhelming (at best) final offerings as compared to the hype factor leading up to their respective releases. Some argued that Destiny is an MMO-like game and so requires time on a populated server. Fair enough. Others argued that the beta and alpha were enough for a ‘review’ to have been conducted. Contradictory but okay.

Meanwhile, Good Guy Bungie went ahead and cleared it all up for us. What champs.

But the entire discussion surrounding the lack of release day reviews got me a little curious about what kind of trust gamers are willing to put into developers. It is my opinion that there are very few games that gamers would allow to get away with release day embargoes, and it didn’t help that gamers adamantly opposed to preorder culture were now defending the act of preordering a new IP — one that is now the most preordered in history — so it got me wondering, which developers do gamers trust enough that they would be okay with this?

And so I put it to Twitter. Here’s what I got back:

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Interestingly, no Bungie mention. So I’m going to tentatively call ‘hype factor’ as the reason people are still okay with preordering Destiny; full credit to Bungie for their clarity on the matter though, when they could have just refused to comment.

Personally, and I was asked about this by a few tweeters thereafter, I trust almost all developers (coincidentally, I’ve never liked Phil Fish — it’s nice to see the rest of the internet has finally caught up with what a child he is) but cannot bring myself to trust the publishers behind them. I was called negative for this mistrust but I prefer to think of it as a ‘fool me once’ sort of scenario where I’ve been burned in the past and so err on the side of caution now. Paranoid, perhaps. But the way I see it, it saves me money if a flop inevitably occurs due to developer dishonesty, and I can always just pick up a game later — typically for cheaper — once reviews are out.

I trust the likes of Valve, BioWare, CD Projekt RED, Naughty Dog, Irrational Games and Visceral Games. I do however feel that studios the likes of BioWare and Visceral are very strongly dictated to by Electronic Arts, their publisher. And this results in a developer that while trustworthy in and of themselves, cannot be trusted with their final products. I genuinely believe that the likes of Mass Effect 3 and Dead Space 3 were excellent but ultimately misguided games into which developers poured their love and affection but publishers pissed all over because money mattered more than entertainment value.

To paraphrase The Italian Job: I trust everyone; it’s the publisher behind them I don’t trust.

No developer really truly wants to take your money and rip you off. I don’t believe that for a second.

What do you guys think, though? Are all of these names correct, or do you have horror stories from dealing with some of these developers? What names are missing, from those already listed? And to what extent do you trust developers, if at all? For example: Would you blindly preorder a game they’re putting out, with minimal coverage? Or would you show faith in them even if they showed you something you weren’t immediately impressed by? Let us know in the comments.

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Get Warlock: Master Of The Arcane For Free With The Humble Summer Sale http://egmr.net/2014/09/get-warlock-master-arcane-free-humble-summer-sale/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/get-warlock-master-arcane-free-humble-summer-sale/#comments Tue, 09 Sep 2014 09:45:07 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=156060 There are some really great deals going on right now, over on the Humble Bundle website. I mean, there always are really great deals but even more so this month. […]

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There are some really great deals going on right now, over on the Humble Bundle website.

I mean, there always are really great deals but even more so this month. To celebrate the end of summer (lol?) in the Northern Hemisphere — or the beginning of a really hot six months or so in Durban — the generous folks over at Humble Bundle have secured some special offerings and even free games as part of the Humble Summer Sale.

For the next few hours only, you can secure for yourself a copy of Warlock: Master of the Arcane, entirely free of charge!

There are also a whole bunch of games selling at reduced prices including the excellent The Wolf Among Us, as well as the likes of Amnesia and Gone Home. Be sure to bookmark the site and visit often because there will also be flash sales at various points from now until September 22nd.

What are you waiting for? Go get your free game and buy more really cheap games to support charities!

Thanks to Richard for the share.

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Our 97th Podcast Records Tonight — Ask Us Things http://egmr.net/2014/09/97th-podcast-records-tonight-ask-us-things/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/97th-podcast-records-tonight-ask-us-things/#comments Tue, 09 Sep 2014 09:00:56 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155965 We live in a world so full of variety and difference to the point that we treasure uniqueness, but even uniqueness is just another in a series of variations from […]

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We live in a world so full of variety and difference to the point that we treasure uniqueness, but even uniqueness is just another in a series of variations from the norm, so what is truly unique and what is just something you’ll only ever come across a few times in your life if at all? But enough about that existential crisis, tonight we’ll be recording episode ninety-seven of the eGamer Podcast; that’s right, we’re almost at a hundred everyone!

This article is your chance to get involved in things. We adore our readers and we want you guys to have a say in our podcast. So go ahead and scroll down to the comments section and think up some really cool questions for us, then post them there. They need not necessarily pertain to gaming. Trust me when I say, we’ll answer anything…

Then be sure to check out either the site, our Libsyn page, iTunes or our RSS feed later in the week for the podcast, which will have all the answers and more. Tell your friends!

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Brace Yourselves For Slender Man’s Arrival On Consoles This Month http://egmr.net/2014/09/brace-slender-mans-arrival-consoles-month/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/brace-slender-mans-arrival-consoles-month/#comments Mon, 08 Sep 2014 11:15:07 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155975 If you’re one of those folks who delighted in horror as Slender took the world by storm a few years ago, you probably saw its sequel Slender: The Arrival and […]

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If you’re one of those folks who delighted in horror as Slender took the world by storm a few years ago, you probably saw its sequel Slender: The Arrival and quite possibly played it when it released last year. And shrieked up a frenzy.

We kind of loved it, and now the game that originally released on Steam in October 2013 will be finding its way to PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 this month, on the the 23rd and 24th respectively. Almost a full year later.

The console version of the game will ship with all of the content from the PC version as well as “brand new story elements” while also featuring “extended levels that continue to unfold the Slender Man mythos,” explained publisher Midnight City.

That mythos, of course, spawned from a meme; so really, Slender is the internet gamified.

If you’re on PC and suffering from severe FOMO then worry not because the extra console content will be retroactively added to Steam versions, allowing you to play all of it absolutely free. It’s about time you went through the horror of it all again anyway.

The console version of the indie game that was developed as a collaborative project between Blue Isle Studios and Parsec Productions will be available for purchase later this month at a US price of $9.99, which you can work out as necessary based on your respective region. Expect trophies and achievements when it’s out… hopefully.

As of yet there is no word on whether it will come to PlayStation 4 and Xbox One but hey, with enough of a fanbase and the crazy amount of indie goodness on current-gen previously-next-gen consoles, who knows?

Will you be picking up Slender: The Arrival on consoles? Hit up the commments and let us know.

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The Gaming Anarchist Collective Addresses #GamerGate And Why Gamers Are Furious http://egmr.net/2014/09/gaming-anarchist-collective-addresses-gamergate-gamers-furious/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/gaming-anarchist-collective-addresses-gamergate-gamers-furious/#comments Mon, 08 Sep 2014 10:30:45 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155862 Or: Sickboy puts the entire debate to bed, once and for all. In recent weeks the internet has been flooded with controversy and debate surrounding first the Quinnspiracy saga and […]

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Or: Sickboy puts the entire debate to bed, once and for all.

In recent weeks the internet has been flooded with controversy and debate surrounding first the Quinnspiracy saga and then a new video by Feminist Frequency’s Anita Sarkeesian who capitalised on the hype surrounding the former.

In the throes of all this conflict came a very serious discussion about ethics and corruption in the gaming industry, and journalists started to turn on their readers; the gamers of the world. It effectively became something of war, “us vs them” as I termed it. And we’ve done our best to cover all of it extensively.

But for as much as we’ve done to talk about all of this with an air of transparency and objectivity, there is a person online who has really been taking it to some of those journalists who he claims have vilified gamers entirely, rather hypocritically. That person is friend of the site Sickboy, from the Gaming Anarchist Collective. And he’s put out a video addressing the #GamerGate and #NotYourShield Twitter trends, and all of the destruction they’ve wrought. Is this considered favourable journalism? Fuck it. It’s a good video and we want to share it with the world.

So go ahead and have a watch. You have all the knowledge you need, to understand everything he’ll talk about. Be sure to comment and share some thoughts of your own, down below. I have to say, it’s been a really rough few weeks and I don’t think any self-respecting writer or gamer who has been in the thick of this has not, at some point or the other, considered dropping it and walking a way. It is a testament to gamers the world over, that we’re still here and trying to have a conversation rather than keep fighting about it. I salute you all.

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Rise Of The Tomb Raider Could Be Destiny’s Failure Foreshadowed http://egmr.net/2014/09/rise-tomb-raider-destinys-foreshadowing/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/rise-tomb-raider-destinys-foreshadowing/#comments Mon, 08 Sep 2014 08:15:15 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155501 There really isn’t a sexy way to start this article so let’s just go ahead and do it like this: Hi internet, remember me? I’m the guy who wanted Destiny […]

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There really isn’t a sexy way to start this article so let’s just go ahead and do it like this: Hi internet, remember me? I’m the guy who wanted Destiny to fail. I still do, but wait! Don’t go anywhere just yet, hear me out. Come on. Would it help if I said that I don’t actually think of Destiny as a bad game? What if I said that I have no doubt in my mind that Bungie will earn many awards for Destiny and that it will have a very successful launch with some rave reviews this week? There, better? What’s that you say? “But Caveshen you beautiful man hypocritical asshole, how can you call it a success and want it to fail?” Ah now there’s an interesting point of debate, wouldn’t you say? Am I just jealous and cynical? Do I hate gaming? Or is there some method to my madness? You’ll just have to read on and find out…

Now before we go any further I’d like to just clear the air a little. I did not expect the kind of reaction that I got to that column, when I first typed it up. I remember sitting at my PC early that weekend and typing out the article relatively lackadaisically, anticipating a busy weekend away from my PC. So I quickly put together an opinion I had held for quite some time, opting out of boring everyone with statistics or figures pulled from old articles with relevance that I could only speculate at. I instead kept it short and to the point, without much of the elaboration that I now realise was absolutely necessary. When it blew up, I was quite surprised. Pleasantly in some ways but also a little disappointed at how quickly gamers would refute my argument without trying to really see where I was coming from; convinced that it was actually me who was not willing to see where they were coming from, in a great twist of irony.

I decided that a knee-jerk reaction to that column was perhaps not the wisest idea (although to be fair, I did actually do that anyway to a lesser extent) and I waited it out for a few months so that I could provide the elaboration that I had originally failed to provide on account of thinking it wasn’t necessary for my point to have been made. I obviously know better now, and I really do want to have this discussion; as luck would have it, Gamescom 2014 happened and I got quite possibly the most compelling piece of evidence to support a claim that I had been making from day one.

The claim? That Activision could be doing with Destiny, what Square Enix has been doing with its various Western licenses since acquiring them from Eidos.

At this point I’d like to firmly establish my awareness of the fact that Activision is in fact not Square Enix. However many similarities can be drawn, such as the incessant milking of popular but well-aged franchises, as well as the unrealistic expectations of development teams and the games they put out. Activision has closed down various studios for no longer being relevant, while Square Enix has a rate of announcing Final Fantasy games that has led to the series no longer being relevant. Activision would need to sell upwards of fifteen million copies to break even with Destiny while Square Enix sold just under four million copies of Tomb Raider within the first month and then deemed it a failure because it didn’t sell more copies. That’s a pretty loaded statement so first let’s talk about Destiny’s budget. It’s massive. $500 million massive. We’ll come back to this one. The next part is Square Enix’s sales expectations of Tomb Raider. Tomb Raider was the eighth-largest selling game of its year, behind some truly big hitters the likes of Grand Theft Auto V, Pokemon X/Y and the usual FIFA and Call of Duty offerings. The eighth-largest game of the year, and it was considered a failure. Just what was Square Enix smoking?

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In my original Destiny article, I wanted to use the comparison of Square Enix and Tomb Raider, and Activision and Destiny (something I eventually did in our podcast) because I felt that Crystal Dynamics and Bungie were in similar boats here; having massive wads of cash thrown at them and not really knowing quite what to do with all of it. Steeped in speculation, sure, but a lot of it is there to be seen really.

Let’s talk about the budget for Destiny. $500 million, which a lot of commenting readers were quick to point out was actually over a ten-year long term. I question just how anyone would believe that, but I will for sake of arguments go with this logic. How much then has been spent on Destiny itself? And what is this long-term plan, exactly? I’ll be the first to admit that this cash injection has resulted in a pretty sweet Planet View website but then again, Freelancer had something similar and it had nowhere near this budget way back in 2003. So where is all the money going to, and how does Activsion plan on making all of it back? Certainly, Destiny does not look or play like anything that would justify a $500 million dollar budget, and that’s okay if it’s a long-term budget, but then what exactly is the plan over this long term and will they, in effect, be able to keep this entire plan under budget across such a long space of time with our volatile economy? $500 million would probably be two and a half Call of Duty games worth of money, and that’s maybe four years worth of development time at most. How does $500 million stretch across ten years, accounting for inflation? So already we see some stumbling blocks in this so-called long-term plan. But I am getting far too thick into this when I can simply say the following: If you played Destiny today, how much would you say went into developing it?

I will say that a lot more has gone into marketing it, and really there is no need from Activision because gamers are doing more than enough singing of its praises, and of course, defending of its name, online. When this game releases, servers will go down and the internet might just break. It’ll take a few weeks before we can trust any of the reviews coming out, and even then people might still be playing it fervently. Then, and this is just my prediction, Titanfall syndrome will take over and everyone will simply move on to other games. And conveniently forget that it is one of the most expensive games in the history of gaming.

But bringing it back to Square Enix for a moment, this year at Gamescom 2014, the sequel to Tomb Raider was announced and, surprise surprise (it really was a surprise), it’s an Xbox One exclusive. We all know the kind of fan response that got, so the less said of that, the better, I think. But for all Rise of the Tomb Raider’s controversy and shock at it being an Xbox One exclusive, a lot of the blame was laid squarely, no pun intended, at the feet of its publisher, Square Enix. Selling out for an exclusivity arrangement on a game that began on none of the gaming platforms currently favoured by gamers, and now only available on one of them… maybe for a limited time. I mean come on, we all know this is a timed exclusive. Anyway the point is, Square Enix needed to make back the money it invested in the Tomb Raider reboot. It was, speculatively, decided that the best way to do that was to enter into an exclusivity deal. Who lost out? Two thirds of Tomb Raider’s fanbase, effectively. Perhaps more if you count those who went over to PS4 from their Xbox 360s.

Rise of the Tomb Raider stands as a testament to a few things, arguably. For one, that Square Enix really didn’t know what they were doing when they acquired the various Eidos IP because they have not managed to make great successes of any of them. For two, Square Enix has not realised that throwing money at a thing does not immediately turn it into a successful venture. And for three, if you do throw money at something and you then wish to make that money back, then prepare for some unscrupulous business practices in order to recuperate your resources. Square Enix sold out the Tomb Raider exclusivity because it needed to make back the initial investment from Tomb Raider’s reboot a few years ago. That’s obviously a massive claim coming from myself, but the evidence is pretty much there to be seen. We’re never going to get actual stats from these publishers anyway.

So how does this relate to Destiny? Well in many ways, this foreshadows what could come to pass for Destiny. We already have the massive investment of cash in something that is actually a completely unknown entity; I mean, it’s a new IP. Many gamers seem to have forgotten that. So while it could be massively successful and actually make a lot of the investment back, there always exists a chance that it doesn’t actually sell as well as Activision are hoping for, and then come the unscrupulous business practices in order to recuperate resources.

I could go two further and state that, a) Destiny actually does achieve massive success leading to escalation and a snowball effect of more investment until the above-mentioned scenario comes to pass (we’ll call this one the Call of Duty scenario) but with the added effect of many, many Destiny clones also coming out, or b) The long-term budget really is long-term and so Destiny’s sales don’t really matter because it’s more about seeding for a new franchise in which case many gamers who purchase Destiny now will play the role of early adopters, and we know how it always works out for early adopters; pay now to pay more later, and all that.

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The only remaining question then, is: In this sort of scenario, who wins besides Activision? If Destiny is a massive success, they win. If it isn’t, they sell the IP or close the studio down, or secure an exclusivity deal for the next game, and win. And so on and so forth. Does it matter to gamers? It ought to. I mean, sure we can all celebrate what a great game Destiny is, the same way we celebrated what a great game Modern Warfare was, but in the end where does the road lead to and are we only capable of thinking in the short term? Remember, this is a game unlike most others because most other games don’t even have a long-term plan, and those that do — Call of Duty, Assassin’s Creed, etc. — tend to show how they really don’t have a clue. So who are we really fooling here?

It’s weird for me how it’s considered bad practice to want a game to fail, yet we have in the past gone on about the likes of on-disc DLC, always-online DRM (remember Diablo III’s Error 37 and SimCity, guys?), sequelitis and more. We have absolutely torn and ripped our way through some excellent offerings in the past. The likes of BioShock: Infinite, which is an excellent game, has been crucified by gaming writers and gamers alike, for having plot inconsistencies and failing to recapture the charm of the first BioShock title. We have been criticising games for as long as I can remember. And yet I can’t stand up and say, “Yeah I think this game is great and it’s probably going to do really well but for the sake of the stability of the gaming industry, I hope it fails.” Because then I’m the enemy.

I’ve opted not to speak of the economic factors in play with a high expenditure such as that of the $500 million budget currently on offer to Bungie from Activision. In a nutshell it will up the stakes and call for other developers to increase their respective expenditures on games to keep up, if Destiny is indeed successful. The net result is that so much money goes into the industry that it becomes even more high-risk and forces campy developer practice while much of the risk-taking is sacrificed; the long-run could lead to developer closures or mergers to the point that perhaps a handful of triple-A developers remain and are comprised of the remnants of each other, while the rest of the industry forms the indie market. Not the most ideal situation, and the least boring way for me to explain it.

And now I must once again state that all of this is entirely speculative. But they are my reasons for wanting Destiny to fail. It is nothing personal against the game or the developers. I in fact would like to wish Bungie all of the best in dealing with Activision and I truly hope their game does great things for them, because they are a quality developer and I really mean it when I say that. If none of what I’ve written about here today comes to pass, I would honestly be okay with being proven wrong and even mocked and jeered for it. But I had to at least explain myself, because I felt I owed as much to you guys who read my opinion and probably thought, “WTF Cavie.” Hopefully now we can again have nice things? At least until reviews are out.

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Anita Sarkeesian’s ‘Women As Background Decoration’ Videos Are Actually Excellent Critiques http://egmr.net/2014/09/anita-sarkeesians-women-background-decoration-videos-actually-excellent-critiques/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/anita-sarkeesians-women-background-decoration-videos-actually-excellent-critiques/#comments Fri, 05 Sep 2014 11:15:26 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155748 Here’s an interesting situation: What if after reading this article, people start calling me a Social Justice Warrior or FemiNazi because I actually liked something from that evil Anita Sarkeesian […]

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Here’s an interesting situation: What if after reading this article, people start calling me a Social Justice Warrior or FemiNazi because I actually liked something from that evil Anita Sarkeesian woman who is totally obviously ruining gaming? I’d probably introduce those people to the folks who called me misogynist for saying we should be questioning Apple about the iCloud hack rather than soapboxing about a woman’s right to privacy, which is a philosophical debate and not necessarily related to cyber-security.

But that is that and here we are today, talking about the latest in the Feminist Frequency series of videos listed under Tropes vs Women in Video Games; this mini-series entitled Women As Background Decoration, with the second part of these videos only recently released. Naturally, the internet erupted with the usual ferocity over yet another video that is going to ruin gaming for everyone, and so on. Meanwhile, I watched it and thought to myself, “Holy hell, she actually has a goddamn point.”

So I thought fuck it, let’s talk about it.

Perhaps let’s get some of the nitty-gritty out of the way first, so that we can immediately eliminate the naysayers who are already itching at the fingers to type out long-winded comments about how I’m obviously wrong and fuck Anita Sarkeesian. Shall we?

 

Nature versus Nurture

It’s perhaps most relevant to immediately disclose that yes, Anita Sarkeesian is not actually a gamer. In fact, she refers to this industry as ‘tech’ and that never ceases to make me wince upon reading it. That said, I don’t necessarily see the problem here. See here’s the thing: When you’re knee-deep in things, often your reality starts to blur and you stop seeing the extent of what you’re actually doing. Kind of like Spec-Ops: The Line. This is why people who grow up in harsh environments become desensitised to the harshness; why people in South Africa for example don’t really put much thought into the heinous nature of crime. It’s a sort of bias, and we as gamers know a lot about bias, am I right? Sometimes it takes someone from the outside to point out the thing we’ve been doing wrong all our lives, because we’re so used to that thing that we just don’t see that it’s wrong. We’ve stopped questioning it and just accepted it as part of our life. Our culture, so to speak.

Naturally this sort of awareness, once raised, will not be met with blissful gratitude. After all, who is this external entity and how can they possibly know better? Regardless, many facets of life will teach that sometimes an external mediator is exactly what’s needed, and after initially resisting the change we start to accept what this external entity has to say. This is why Anita Sarkeesian is the perfect candidate for criticising videogames; she is not marred by our biases and is not desensitised to the same things we are.

While watching her videos, I couldn’t help but find myself thinking that she was wrong and wanting so vehemently to prove that she was wrong, but over the course of what I was watching I began to realise that not only was she right in what she said — which is to say, her criticisms had validity — but disproving them in the manner I wanted to did not somehow invalidate criticisms that are basically just observations made by someone who is not even a gamer. Which is, I feel, another key aspect of the discussion: She isn’t even a gamer and yet she can see what is wrong with this picture. How can we not?

So with that said, let’s firmly establish that Anita Sarkeesian not being a gamer is a really, really great thing because it means she can see what our eyes cannot necessarily see. Further, as someone who is not actually a gamer, how fucking impressive is it that she can pull so many diverse examples of sexism in videogames? How many of you can do the same, as gamers? Now, let’s move onto what everyone no doubt wants to see, and talk about some criticisms I have for the series of videos.

 

Some criticisms of Feminist Frequency

I question the need for the amount of money raised via KickStarter for the Feminist Frequency series of videos. I have seen people on YouTube do a lot, and I do mean a lot, more, for free. You need look no further than the Mass Effect 3 Indoctrination Theory and the BioShock: Infinite Timeline Reformation Theory for examples of really extensively researched and impressively detailed videos that users didn’t ask hundreds of thousands of dollars for, to make. When you ask money to do something that others can do for free, and potentially better, then naturally you’re going to raise some eyebrows and get people poking and prodding to find out where that money is actually going. Because nobody, and I do mean nobody, likes a scammer.

Not that I’m claiming Feminist Frequency videos are a scam. The mere fact that they make the impact that they do is enough justification, I feel, to have them on the internet. I just feel they still have to do more given their asking price, freely available online or not.

Then we must come to the actual criticisms offered in the videos. When it comes to literature, nobody questions the reason Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf is sold at bookstores, nor indeed the treatment of women in books by Martin, Orwell, Tokien, Rowling or anyone else for that matter. Nobody even so much as bats an eyelid when Oliver Mellors has his way with Lady Chatterley (for brevity, we won’t discuss the abhorrent waste that is anything Twilight or 50 Shades). They’re considered period pieces, required for the purposes of literature and art and to understand our history and where we have come from. A necessary part of our culture as humans.

So why is this not necessarily applicable to a period piece style of game, the likes of Assassin’s Creed or even Watch_Dogs? I especially take issue that some of the examples used in the videos are framed to suggest that it is a targeted role of players to exploit women in a particular way when in fact this is not necessarily the case (to her credit, Anita Sarkeesian does make mention of this point). For example, in Assassin’s Creed, yes okay there’s the Animus and they’re taking you back to a ‘simulated’ history but that simulated history ought surely to portray women as they were portrayed in that historical setting? Likewise, Watch_Dogs will show a sexual abuse case as part of a random event, but is that not what happens in real life as well? Yes again this game contains a sci-fi element with regards to hacking but then does that mean we must suspend disbelief with every other aspect of the game as well, to the point that no realism is allowed into the game? If you are walking through a modern day Chicago, are women not being sexualised, objectified and possibly even sexually assaulted on those streets? And if you were a vigilante, would you not also try to help them?

It’s all good and well to show the bad, and that absolutely holds its own weight in validity, but let’s question what is actually gratuitous and what is done with an element of realism or historical accuracy in certain situations. To some extent she does this, and her counter-arguments hold notable gravitas, but I feel they’re not enough and could easily, themselves, be countered, with just a little more thought. To the point that it might delve into cyclical logic territory, and nobody wants that.

Now with all of that said and out of the way, let’s get to the juicy bits of controversy. Here are the things that I absolutely loved about Anita Sarkeesian’s latest mini-series of videos.

 

Why Anita Sarkeesian did a really good job this time

Sometimes even a complete asshole can make some valid points, so even when we don’t agree with or even like the person we are speaking to, it is important that we pay attention to what they’re saying if we want to remain impartial and objective, and have an actual mature discussion about something. In this respect whatever your opinion of Anita Sarkeesian might be, it would take a stubborn, bullish and downright ignorant person to deny that she does exceptionally well to cover her points in these recent videos.

While watching, every time I thought up a counter-argument to a point she made, she went ahead and talked about that very counter-argument later on in the video and effectively covered herself from every angle of reproach. Now that doesn’t mean she is entirely beyond reproach (and it certainly doesn’t mean she had to do this, I mean how many games journalists even do it at all?) but what it means is that she considered every side of the argument, and if you can’t respect that then you either have a personal grudge against her or you’re seeing something sinister that I just cannot. Anita Sarkeesian (I basically have to say her full name like that now) establishes her points of critique fairly and addresses counter-points in a satisfactory manner, for the most part.

Sometimes the points she makes are questionable, or certainly feel that way; I mean to say that you might look at a point she raises and think, “Wait a second…” Typically though, if you give it a few more seconds of thought (allowing for bias) then you realise that she kind of has a point and they’re all valid criticisms regardless of how you might question them. For example a lot of the points she raises revolve around male power fantasies and how women in games are created to be used as plot devices (Elizabeth in BioShock: Infinite, anyone?) or fluff content, and almost always treat the player with sexual intrigue rather than casual indifference. I look at these examples and think, “Well fuck, if real life was like that, I probably wouldn’t be playing videogames because I’d be covered in women.” Male power fantasies, whether we think she’s pulling them out of her ass or not, are there to be seen as soon as you open your eyes and look, rather than stubbornly refusing to even entertain the thought, and this series illustrates this and more points excellently.

As gamers, and I suppose just humans, we are extremely defensive of that thing we love and it’s tough to hear someone come in and tell us it’s not what we think it is. I think we blind ourselves to it. But in the end we must remember that Anita Sarkeesian is not trying to ruin gaming for us. She’s trying to create some discussion over what she feels is blatant sexism in the videogame industry, specifically related to the games we play. She doesn’t attack a particular developer, nor a particular series of games, but uses examples to make her points, and examples that work. Granted they are sometimes very framed examples, but that still does not take away from the points she makes.

If I was to show you a woman getting raped on a street corner and said that women get raped on street corners, you wouldn’t abjectly deny it and go, “Well I’m not the one doing the raping!” Somehow this is what we do for the videogame examples she raises. Perhaps because the sexism debate is running so rampant of late, and there are genuinely misguided fools who, disgustingly, believe they are championing the cause for or against sexism. But when Anita Sarkeesian raises a point in this series of videos, and you watch them objectively and from the perspective of someone who wants to understand where she’s coming from, it becomes more and more impossible to refute her claims that something is fundamentally wrong.

Only creationists would vehemently deny what is there to be seen. And gaming ought not to be a religion.

In the end it’s just criticism and unlike the Jack Thompsons of the world, Anita Sarkeesian is not lobbying to get videogames banned. People are arguing that she is going to ruin gaming and you know what? I agree. She is. But not in the way you think… she’s going to ruin the idea of gaming as we currently see it. That is to say, she’s going to help it to grow and mature and become better. Not necessarily more representative but more self-aware, and that can only be a good thing. Unlike the Jack Thompsons of the world who want to outright ban videogames and push their political agendas, Anita Sarkeesian is not pushing a political agenda and is not calling for the outright banning of videogames. Nor is she implicated in any sex scandals, to my knowledge. She’s simply asking us to see what she sees and try to think about what’s going on with this picture.

 

But is it gaming or society that’s the problem?

That’s the question, isn’t it? See for all Anita Sarkeesian is doing right by highlighting these injustices in videogames, they are not necessarily injustices exclusive to videogames. Surely a lot of us have seen the other sides of the internet and of course everyday life where you get creeps, perverts and depraved individuals prowling and ruining the fun for everyone. I’ve seen some hilarious Twitter accounts from people who are obviously not accustomed to the internet and believe that it’s okay to proposition a girl in a tweet with others mentioned, for example. It’s this reasoning that has led me to believe that we on the internet, for all the trolls, hackers and other depraved individuals prowling and ruining the fun for everyone, are at least slightly more evolved (not scientifically speaking) than our non-internet counterparts. We are actually more progressive than the rest of humanity, I feel. So perhaps it is society that is actually at fault here?

When I first saw Anita Sarkeesian’s videos, I looked at the chequered shirt she wore and the large hoop earrings and thought, “Yup, she’s either a massive lesbian or an obvious feminist; the kind who refuses to shave and probably questions everything in the world ever, as having sexist connotations.” Misogynistic of me? Absolutely. It was an initial and very judgemental impression that I’ve since entirely dismissed; I do not purport to be perfect, only growing and learning like everyone else. But this was my impression, and it had little to do with my experience as a gamer. As a gamer, I was taught that I can be a better person and do the right thing and basic Mass Effect styled Paragon stuff. So maybe the inherent issue isn’t gaming but actually our societal culture?

In her videos, Anita Sarkeesian highlights sexually objectifying gaming ads as examples of sexism. I’ve seen movie ads and even book covers that do the same thing, or worse. In her videos, Anita Sarkeesian highlights examples of gratuitous violence and exploitation of women as examples of sexism. I’ve seen movies and books that do the same thing, or worse. I’ve listened to music that goes ten steps further than any game ever did. I accept that gaming is different because of the interactive element, but I question how much of a difference it has to a book that actively asks you to recreate a scenario in your imagination or ‘mind’s eye’, of a women getting sexually assaulted. So perhaps it’s not a closed situation that relates specifically to gaming.

But does that mean it’s not necessarily relevant to gaming? Of course not.

And that’s why I love these videos. Because it shows the rate of growth and change that gaming is experiencing, that far eclipses anything books and movies ever did. We are effectively overtaking these other forms of media, and Anita Sarkeesian is at the helm of this advance in maturity. Sexism might be a contentious topic online, but she at least is bravely facing it head-on rather than casually disregarding it. She isn’t so much calling for war as she is calling for awareness. And for that, she has my respect. I might not necessarily be a worshipful fan of hers, and I still question what the money was for, but I can respect what she is doing for gaming. And if you can’t, then well… perhaps tell us in the comments why.

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Destiny’s Planet View Website Takes Players To Mars, Venus And The Moon http://egmr.net/2014/09/destinys-planet-view-website-takes-players-mars-venus-moon/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/destinys-planet-view-website-takes-players-mars-venus-moon/#comments Thu, 04 Sep 2014 15:00:54 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155730 Here at EGMR we are all massive fans of Destiny. The game with the $500 million dollar long term budget certainly looks like a very interesting title and judging from […]

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Here at EGMR we are all massive fans of Destiny.

The game with the $500 million dollar long term budget certainly looks like a very interesting title and judging from online responses to it, it’s going to sell millions effortlessly.

Perhaps a better indicator of what a developer can do with that kind of money is now presentable in the form of Destiny Planet View, which is a companion site to Bungie’s upcoming space-faring title that is stylistically similar to Google Maps, and indeed powered by the same technology.

It allows you to explore the likes of Mars, Venus and the Moon as they will be presented in the game that releases next week. You are free to move about as you please and check out upwards of thirty locations per planet. The more science-y explorers might question why Venus is being presented as a lush jungle world rather than the desolate and hell-ish place that it actually is, but for the purposes of entertainment let’s turn our suspension of disbelief all the way up.

Before Destiny releases, I’m planning a follow-up article regarding that old column that made me infamous on the internet. Until then, it’s really cool to see sites such as these which allow this level of exploration; a common thing many years ago with the likes of Freelancer, but not seen since. It’s great to behold. Check it out for yourself, will you?

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What Exactly Is #NotYourShield About? http://egmr.net/2014/09/exactly-notyourshield/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/exactly-notyourshield/#comments Thu, 04 Sep 2014 11:15:50 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155723 To be completely honest, we’re no longer entirely certain either. Last night the Twitter hashtag #NotYourShield started to trend, and it gained a lot of traction from there with gamers […]

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To be completely honest, we’re no longer entirely certain either.

Last night the Twitter hashtag #NotYourShield started to trend, and it gained a lot of traction from there with gamers who were involved in the whole GamerGate saga, as previously discussed here.

Long-time reader and friend of the site, Haig Tait, messaged on Facebook to make us aware of the trend, stating the following: “A glorious hashtag showing that gamers actually do care, showing how diverse gaming is, and how against Corrupt Journalism almost all gamers are.”

So naturally we checked it out and what seemed to be a really cool way of gamers to fight back at those who were purporting the #GamerGate hashtag, it seemed to have fallen down and degraded to the point that honestly, we can’t really say exactly what #NotYourShield is anymore. Such is the conflicting nature of a lot of the tweets. We’ve taken to compiling some of the more popular ones in the hopes that maybe you, our beloved readers, can help us figure it out:

Let’s stop it there. What do you guys think of this hashtag? Is it serving its purpose or are you as confused as we are? The general consensus seems to be that not everyone is a straight white male, which should be obvious I suppose but then again this is the internet and the feminist brigade has been coming off strong, of late. So why not? But that doesn’t really prove or disprove anything, does it? Still, I guess it’s nice to see some sort of movement towards happy gaming, rather than just picking someone else to attack; misogyny apparently is more relevant on the internet than terrorism, after all.

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eGamer Podcast #96: #FapspiracyGate http://egmr.net/2014/09/egamer-podcast-96-fapspiracygate/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/egamer-podcast-96-fapspiracygate/#comments Thu, 04 Sep 2014 09:00:48 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155693 Recorded: 03 September 2014 Welcome to episode ninety-six of the eGamer Podcast, where we break down one of the most incredible and controversial weeks on the internet since Mass Effect […]

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Recorded: 03 September 2014

Welcome to episode ninety-six of the eGamer Podcast, where we break down one of the most incredible and controversial weeks on the internet since Mass Effect 3 ended. Almost everyone is missing in action today, but the ragtag crew of remaining troops bring it home for the team.

Topics discussed this week include the Fappening, Gamer Gate and Destiny’s absent reviews.

Here are the shownotes for this week’s episode:

  • Let’s have a rant about universities!
  • Cavie shares his UKZN horror stories.
  • Which 3DS do you want?
  • Does the Z3 make the Vita irrelevant?
  • Is The Fappening a sex crime or a cyber one?
  • Here is a Mail & Guardian article about it.
  • Here is a more humanised look at nude women.
  • Check out #NotYourShield.
  • What’s going on with the whole Gamer Gate argument now?
  • Getting yourself involved in the thick of things.
  • Where are Destiny reviews if the game is out next week?
  • How similar are Square Enix to Activision?
  • What can we do to fix gaming journalism, if it even needs fixing?
  • Anita Sarkeesian, and what we liked/disliked about her recent videos.
  • We do not answer your questions.
  • Aaaand we’re done here, misogynists.

Don’t forget that you can subscribe to the RSS feed so you never miss an episode. Enjoy.

Direct Download | Libsyn | iTunes | RSS

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You Can Now Get Movies On GoG http://egmr.net/2014/09/can-now-get-movies-gog/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/can-now-get-movies-gog/#comments Wed, 03 Sep 2014 11:15:17 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155668 Oddly, calling it ‘Good Old Games’ typically results in readers going, “Who?” Such is the power of brand awareness. We here at EGMR are massive fans of the things Good […]

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Oddly, calling it ‘Good Old Games’ typically results in readers going, “Who?” Such is the power of brand awareness.

We here at EGMR are massive fans of the things Good Old Gaming are doing for gaming. Entirely DRM-free classics and new titles that you can purchase via their website and access in various ways; what’s not to love? And now they’ve gone even one better and begun offering up movies as part of their service as well.

DRM-free movies available on-demand from a website loved and trusted by gamers the world over? Yes please.

Our goal is to offer you cinema classics as well as some all-time favorite TV series with no DRM whatsoever, for you to download and keep on your hard drive or stream online whenever you feel like it. We talked to most of the big players in the movie industry and we often got a similar answer: “We love your ideas, but … we do not want to be the first ones. We will gladly follow, but until somebody else does it first, we do not want to take the risk”. DRM-Free distribution is not a concept their lawyers would accept without hesitation. We kind of felt that would be the case and that it’s gonna take patience and time to do it, to do it, to do it right. That’s quite a journey ahead of us, but every gamer knows very well that great adventures start with one small step. So why not start with something that feels very familiar? We offer you a number of gaming and internet culture documentaries – all of them DRM-Free, very reasonably priced, and presenting some fascinating insight into topics close to a gamer’s heart.

You can check out the list of what’s currently available here and if you’d like to give the service a try — or you’re just indian a cheapskate — then feel free to try out two entirely free offerings just to acquaint you with how GoG works.

Movies will be available in either full HD 1080p, 720p or lower-res, bandwidth-friendly versions. Check out the site for more information, and join us in the comments to praise GoG for being that ever-lovable creation of internet-kind.

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The Fappening And Gamer Gate — A Summary In Prose http://egmr.net/2014/09/fappening-gamer-gate-summary-prose/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/fappening-gamer-gate-summary-prose/#comments Tue, 02 Sep 2014 15:00:40 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155561 Disclaimer: Nobody on this site, or hopefully any other site, advocates the exploitation of any human and respects their right to privacy. Funny thing about privacy: It’s a philosophical concept […]

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Disclaimer: Nobody on this site, or hopefully any other site, advocates the exploitation of any human and respects their right to privacy.

Funny thing about privacy: It’s a philosophical concept enforced through social imperatives, and not necessarily something biological. See, biologically speaking, humans exist for one purpose and one purpose only, although I guess that depends on which religious establishment you ask.

But I digress.

It’s late on a Tuesday afternoon, nobody really wants to have any more srsbsns conversations about gaming after no doubt spending gruelling amounts of time on Twitter today fighting the good fight and standing up for what they believe in… not necessarily what others believe in. So rather than post more serious news and start talking about how a new kind of disgusting human has come to the fore, we thought we’d post something meant almost entirely for the purposes of humour, based on quite possibly 2014’s biggest scandal; the thing the internet is calling The Fappening.

If you’d like to know more then feel free to read on through, but if not then just skip ahead to the image below.

See what happened was this past week Apple’s iCould server was hacked and access was gained to images and other files stored on the server by iPhone users (and this is why I use a Galaxy). This included pictures from pretty much anyone who used it, but naturally the ones that caused the biggest fuss were those of celebrities, especially current internet love-interest, Jennifer Lawrence, although she’s not the only one. What followed was a massive internet leak of celebrity images, a lot of them nudes, of both popular males but predominately popular females.

A fair portion of internet folk (whom I’m sure will be labelled by some, by the time I finish this sentence) called it a sex crime, and indeed J Law’s attorneys are hunting down the leaked nudes with the intention of prosecuting those involved; others including myself saw this more as a security issue with Apple’s iCloud being the culprit and the thing that should be held accountable while celebrities (more notably) were victims of the hack. Oddly, perhaps because sex will always win, the security flaw in the iCloud seems to be almost entirely glossed over by everyone while they’re busy arguing the idea of whether or not celebrities “asked for it” by taking nudes of themselves.

I don’t advocate that belief, I must now say that loud and clear. I think it’s preposterous, frankly. Nobody “asked for it” by taking the pictures, although I would question the need for uploading any sensitive information (at all, ever) to a cloud server, because after all they (cloud servers) are not at a point when we can fully trust them. I wouldn’t, for example, put my personal information on a cloud server, and I don’t know anyone who admits that they would, so I think this point of argument is a unanimous one, regardless of the “asked for it” ridiculousness currently going on, online. I guess people just have to have something to fight about, regardless of their own beliefs regarding a simple concept as security.

In any case, all of that is just background filler for the image below. Once again we’re going to state that this is just for the purposes of humour and making light of an ugly situation. Because we at EGMR believe that it’s never too soon it’s folly to dwell on the negativity of a situation… *cough* Enjoy it in its full glory here:

CLICK TO ENLARGE

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Oh, did we forget to talk about that Gamer Gate thing? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

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Our 96th Podcast Records Tonight — Ask Us Things http://egmr.net/2014/09/96th-podcast-records-tonight-ask-us-things/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/96th-podcast-records-tonight-ask-us-things/#comments Tue, 02 Sep 2014 09:00:38 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155503 Are you someone who self-identifies as a “gamer”? Do you find yourself trying very hard to ignore everything that’s currently going on, and frowning upon the mere mention of it […]

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Are you someone who self-identifies as a “gamer”? Do you find yourself trying very hard to ignore everything that’s currently going on, and frowning upon the mere mention of it (like here)? Well then perhaps you’re in the right place, but then again perhaps not because tonight we’ll be recording episode ninety-six of the eGamer Podcast and depending on who’s around you’re either getting 100% off-topic randomness, or a massive discussion on recent goings-on.

In the meantime what we’d like from you guys, our beloved readers and listeners whom we value and treasure and totally appreciate, is your involvement in the evening’s proceedings. Simply scroll down to the comments sections and ask us any kind of questions you’d like, whether they pertain to gaming or not.

Then be sure to check out either the site, our Libsyn page, iTunes or our RSS feed later in the week for the podcast, which will have all the answers and more. Tell your friends!

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Reach For Some Orcs With September’s Games With Gold Offerings http://egmr.net/2014/09/reach-orcs-septembers-games-gold-offerings/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/reach-orcs-septembers-games-gold-offerings/#comments Mon, 01 Sep 2014 11:15:18 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155474 Welcome to September, Xbots. Cue Green Day. With a new month comes a new batch of games for you to download — this is basically why I love new months. […]

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Welcome to September, Xbots. Cue Green Day. With a new month comes a new batch of games for you to download — this is basically why I love new months. The kind folks over at Xbox ZA have emailed us a list of the games coming out on Games with Gold this month.

If you’re an Xbox 360 or Xbox One gamer, you can look forward to the likes of:

  • Xbox 360
    • Orcs Must Die — 1 – 15 September
    • Halo Reach — 15 – 30 September
  • Xbox One
    • Super Time Force
    • Crimson Dragon

Originally slated for Xbox 360 was Monaco: What’s Yours Is Mine, which I’ve honestly not heard of before. Unfortunately it was unavailable and so we get Orcs Must Die instead. I’m okay with this change. Enjoy your free games, Micro$haft fanboys.

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Life, The Universe And Gaming: There Is No “Us Vs Them” In Videogames http://egmr.net/2014/09/life-universe-gaming-us-vs-videogames/ http://egmr.net/2014/09/life-universe-gaming-us-vs-videogames/#comments Mon, 01 Sep 2014 09:00:55 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155456 “To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.” – Voltaire. The gaming world has reached a state of affairs nothing short of […]

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“To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.” – Voltaire.

The gaming world has reached a state of affairs nothing short of apocalyptic. No, not the X-Men character. No, not even that religious reference. But close. See, the dictionary definition of ‘apocalypse’ is one of devastation and destruction, but also of revelation. In my family’s Hindu religion, they pray to Lord Shiva, who is the destroyer of worlds; the belief going that in order for life there must be death, since life unbridled is, effectively, cancerous.

And gaming has certainly been spreading like a cancer in recent years, most of us oblivious to how it has been shaping a generation of misogynistic man-babies and fanboys who are incapable of dealing with criticism in any form and exist simply to blindly love that thing with which they are obsessed. You know, kinda like a religious cult.

Thus our apocalyptic moment was inevitable. I, like all of you, like any gamer who has ever dared to self-identify using the word “gamer” or anything else relating to it (although I do draw the line at “girl gamer” I mean really now) have reached a point of undeniable inevitability. And it all started because someone took a break-up really badly

The topic for today’s column is one that I’ve had rattling around in my head for quite a while, and in one weekend I seem to have been entirely overtaken by the rest of the internet. Still, there are a few more points to be made and a lot of what I feel is relevant to our local industry, given recent spats. By the way, all of those links are considered required reading for this column, and I urge you to indulge in all of them. If, however, you’re lazy and just want me to get to the point, I can respect that and will continue with my story.

Ever since Zoe Quinn’s boyfriend turned her into the internet’s new figure of hate, we’ve had a shift of focus onto sexism, games journalism and the ethical unfairness displayed in the gaming industry. Some developers were outed for illicit dealings with games journalists, other developers were left out in the cold, perhaps because they just didn’t have access to such connections, and gaming as an entirety took a massive hit to the crotch. As if it wasn’t difficult already to convince people that we’re not just overgrown children, a fair few (although granted ‘not all’) gamers took to the internet to attack the likes of Quinn, Anita Sarkeesian and other strong feminist figures in the industry, effectively turning a sexism debate into all-out war between gamers and the gaming industry.

It got to the point that even Tim Schafer was asked to kill himself.

Guys, let me make something abundantly clear: When motherfucking Tim Schafer, a man who has given his entire life to gaming — and done more for this industry than any one of us could ever hope to do — is asked to kill himself by gamers, we have done something terribly and shamefully wrong…

I'm the Invoker in this fight...

I’m the Invoker in this fight…

What boggles my mind is that this entire war seems to be imagined by the likes of insecure gamers who sit at home and play games and therefore think they know everything about the world in which they live, or indeed those who live actual lives and therefore feel they have something to say, but don’t actually because they’re still unread, uncultured idiots. They feel that the likes of Anita Sarkeesian are going to ruin gaming for everyone, and while I don’t always agree with her videos (who actually fully does?) I just can’t see how she would effect any kind of change that would compare to the likes of Jack Thompson lobbying to get videogames banned. And so the lines between ethics and sexism blur and the really disgusting kinds of humans come out to ‘defend gaming’ when actually, they are who we need to ‘defend gaming’ from. Because they’re the ones who are giving the rest of us, you know, the ones who just want gaming to grow and mature, a really bad name.

I will take this moment to grant that gaming has indeed grown a lot in recent years, but I will come back to why this kind of disruptive conflict is a necessary evil.

Last week I put out an article that I felt needed to be out before this column, so that I could have a firm foundation on which to stand while discussing all of this — it’s a really long piece that I felt needed to discuss many aspects — and in it I never once picked a side or purported a point; it existed simply for the purpose of discussing and getting out everything that I felt was relevant to the topic. I did not hold back because why talk ethics when you can’t be forthright in the process? Have a quick read of the comments section and see how that went down. I’ll summarise for you: Readers were okay with it, and were willing to discuss it; local writer(s), not so much. A shame, because it was purported that I was actually taking shots at the local industry because obviously… I mean, fuck.

As much as I love being told what I’m doing by others, I’m pretty sure I’m acutely aware of the things I am saying and the intent of my words, but hey, we live in a world where being gay or black is a sin so who am I to presume to think I was speaking the way I meant to speak. And yes, I realise the grotesque hyperbole of that statement. This is what gaming has done to me, where I have to be told what I’m writing because it’s so difficult to accept that I’m not actually being attacking, when I’m not being attacking.

And here’s the thing, it really isn’t attacking and that should be obvious to anyone with a clue. Why? Because there isn’t a ‘side’ to pick. There are no attacks, except by those claiming that there are attacks. In cases that seem like attacking, we as writers and as gamers are simply responding to being attacked. After all, how would you react if you were neck-deep in accusations and vitriol? You’d probably get out, right? But what if you didn’t want to… A man goes near a bear and the bear, feeling threatened, retaliates; the bear is vilified as a man-eating and vicious animal, and the man who kills it is proclaimed a hero. Celebrated for his victorious feat. Revered as a saviour. This is what’s happening in gaming right now.

We just don’t need any more saviours, frankly.

Here’s where I come to the other side of the coin, for after all there are always two sides: A lot of times, I am actually frustrated more by those defending gaming than by those who are attacking it. Oh don’t get me wrong, the folks who are hacking into personal accounts and posting social security numbers and the likes online are abhorrent people; more so the socially disturbed creeps who are making very serious death and rape threats which force the likes of Sarkeesian out of their homes (although I’ve also read online that these were fake so who even knows anymore). None of this is on and I am not supporting any of it for a moment; it’s disgusting and I do not condone it.

That said, it is equally disgusting that some feel a need to now attack these people and give them the obvious validation that they are searching for. Perhaps hypocritical of me given that this is kind of what I’m doing right now. But you know what? I’m going to talk about it: There are some people who are attacking the attackers, refuting their claims and ‘standing up for gaming’, and making outright fools of themselves. We do not need to be ‘defended’ and we certainly don’t need anyone purporting that gamers are doing anything worse than any other sect of humanity. All you’re proving is that you’re part of the problem.

One particular bugbear of mine is that some people are making very legitimate claims and being shafted. For example:

Now, I have nothing against Tauriq Moosa, I respect him and think he’s doing a fine job of fighting the ‘mansplainers‘ of the world, but this isn’t the first, and I presume it won’t be the last time that he ignores an honest response to his tweet in favour of his point. And he isn’t the only person who does this. I’ve replied to quite a few people with honest, non-troll responses to their attacks on misogynists and other types of gamers, and been entirely ignored while they would retweet others who supported their attacks. How is that any better than the attackers themselves?

Unless we’re actually not trying to have a conversation about any of this and just pushing our own agendas.

And here is where I come to the likes of so-called Social Justice Warriors and Men’s Rights Activists; I feel that a lot of legitimate conversations are either being glossed over, brushed under the carpet or just plain misguided into conflict because any time someone brings up something that even slightly treads near this realm, the SJWs and MRAs are at it; like Israel and Palestine, that’s pretty much all the push they need and they’re at it again. And people such as myself who really do just want to have a conversation about it, will either get attacked and accused of picking sides or just ignored entirely. Or, you know, the odd commenter who entirely misses the point will claim that I’m being disrespectful because they’ve decided they know me and my story because they read an article online that one time…

I’m tired of it. I’m tired of people fighting with each other just because, I don’t know, they feel they need to or something. And I’m especially tired of being told that I can’t discuss things because it’s wrong to call out gamers on bad practices and why can’t I just calm down and stop being angry all the time… as if I’m the reason gaming has turned out this way. I think that we as gamers take things far too personally, and I understand why to an extent: Gaming is a very powerful pastime that can consume time, energy and resources but gives back so much; through gaming we have defeated depression and found a place to belong, and we have escaped to fantasy worlds only previously imaginable through our brains, and learned a lot about ourselves in the process. Gaming has done so much, and some of us have built actual careers around it. Some of us have even marked ourselves with our favourite gaming symbols. So of course we’re going to take it personally and defend it to our very last breath.

But what if, and I’m going to put on my Morpheus glasses before saying this, what if the fight is imagined… what if it’s all in our heads? What if there really isn’t a massive conflict and we’re all just acting out our insecurities because we’ve reached this zenith along our current trajectory and it’s time for gaming to make a very drastic and sharp shift? What if, like the so-called revelations of religious people (who may or may not have heard of Richard Dawkins), we as gamers are growing up and moving on and leaving our old gamer culture behind, in order to grow into something better?

What if this is just how our gaming apocalypse plays out and our future is not just bright, but better?

In that case… what if we actually owe it to those fuckbags who started all of this in the first place?

Scary thought… but one I’m willing to entertain. Because I think it’s time we put down our pitchforks and stopped forcing every person to ‘pick a side’ when really, realistically, there is only one side, and that’s the side of gaming. And we have all been on that side from the moment we first picked up a controller or learned that the WASD keys are capable of more than just typing. It’s time we left this notion behind, of needing to defend the sanctity of gaming, and stopped taking potshots at each other and presuming to know more than the other because we’re older/richer/better-looking/more-experienced/mature, and just grew the fuck up.

Think we can make it happen? For gaming?

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Watch Superman, Lois Lane And Professor X Take The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge http://egmr.net/2014/08/watch-superman-lois-lane-take-als-ice-bucket-challenge/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/watch-superman-lois-lane-take-als-ice-bucket-challenge/#comments Fri, 29 Aug 2014 11:15:27 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155242 Don’t know what the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is? Well basically, you are challenged by someone to do it and then you must donate an amount of money to a […]

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Don’t know what the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is? Well basically, you are challenged by someone to do it and then you must donate an amount of money to a charity and then have someone drop a bucket of ice water onto you… it’s kinda silly but hey, it’s for a good cause. More info here.

Some folks have been vehemently against this idea but I’m more inclined to have a laugh about it, and when it finally hit celebrities then sure enough, massive amounts of money were (hopefully really) donated to charity and we got to see our favourite celebs get dunked, essentially. Today we have for you, a video in which Superman himself gets dunked. That’s right, on the set of the Man of Steel sequel that became the Justice League origin movie, Henry Cavill and Amy Adams both got a bucket of ice cold water dumped onto them, and we have the video for you all today.

Lots of celebrities have been nominated; some turned it down, others played along, but I think we can all agree that the undisputed winner of the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is Patrick Stewart. Behold:

What a champ. Check out more videos here.

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On The Ethics Of Media And Industry Relations In Videogames http://egmr.net/2014/08/ethics-media-industry-relations-videogames/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/ethics-media-industry-relations-videogames/#comments Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:15:02 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155203 The past few weeks have left me incredulous; we’ve gone from being otherwise indifferent or relatively optimistic about the coming months in gaming, to ridiculous amounts of infighting and attacking […]

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The past few weeks have left me incredulous; we’ve gone from being otherwise indifferent or relatively optimistic about the coming months in gaming, to ridiculous amounts of infighting and attacking anyone with an opinion about anything, and I can’t help but note that it all started after a German event… just saying.

In all seriousness though, after coming off E3 and the whole sexism debate surrounding Assassin’s Creed: Unity, and then having to endure the whines of console gamers over Rise of the Tomb Raider during Gamescom, I have to admit that when the whole Quinnspiracy scandal arose, I had reached a certain tipping point in the amount of positivity I could hold onto (but hold onto it I did).

Now we’ve already discussed the allegations raised against Zoe Quinn and I’m not here to rehash that discussion — read: this is not an article about Zoe Quinn or sexism — but rather, I’d like to address possibly the most interesting and pertinent debate to come out of that messy saga, and probably the biggest missed point of a lot of the noise being made by SJWs and MRAs; that of the relationships, ethical or otherwise, between videogame developers and journalists in the industry.

Some might argue that as readers, all of this is not really your business. I disagree. You all have a vested interest in what goes on behind the scenes because, after all, we exist for you guys and we try to cater to you guys. In our own style, certainly. But still with the intention of entertaining and providing solid, informative content for you guys. Our reviews exist to inform you and allow you to make somewhat educated purchasing decisions, and if those reviews were influenced somehow then you deserve to know as much. This is why I’m doing this article and putting it out on the internet. This is why I’m daring to talk about otherwise sensitive stuff that might possibly get me into some trouble.

Let’s first go over a few things that were mentioned in the article linked above. I don’t consider gaming websites — especially local ones for reasons I’ll come to in a bit — to be strictly ‘journalism’ because for example, a political journalist is not a politician and a war journalist is not necessarily fighting in the war. Games journalists actually play the things they talk about. Games journalists, then, are writers with opinions that others care to read about. And that’s it, really. Here in South Africa a lot of our content is either paraphrased news from international websites or original local content including events, opinions and reviews (and the odd eSports outrage). This is more or less true for every local gaming website and while some might purport to be legitimate journalists, whether they have degrees saying so or otherwise, for the most part it’s usually just a bunch of people who know some stuff, writing about a thing.

Not necessarily very well in a lot of cases, I have to say, but they do try.

In that sense, it is no different to a political journalist, or a war journalist, or any other kind. We are writing about something for someone else to read. And since we cater to a community of readers, we owe it to them to remain ethical and honest. Integrity is a big deal for journalism, whether we call ourselves that title or not. And as anyone on the eGamer EGMR team will tell you, I am quite headstrong in my views on integrity, to the point that I find it difficult to respect a person who would speak on behalf of a community and then work in a job that peddles to that community, ie. PR. I do however say this as an Xbox Promotions Coordinator, albeit one who never actually outwardly ‘pushes’ console sales himself, but rather exists as a presence as part of his job, and still answers questions honestly (always awkward when asked which console has the better exclusives).

So with all of that said, we can establish that while games journalism might not be strictly journalism, it is still liable to journalistic ethics and accountable to its community of readers. That means people who write about games should do so with transparency and honesty.

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Now there are certain perks to this job, as there are perks to any job. For example, if you’re working for a big company then you have a retirement fund, medical aid and perhaps a fuel allowance over and above your salary. Likewise if you’re on Top Gear then you get to drive some of the coolest and most expensive cars in the world. As games journalists, we get to play the latest games on the latest consoles, sometimes before launch. This is not a boast, but rather a statement of fact. It is part of our ‘job’ so to speak. Why? Because we have to cater to our audience and just like how it benefits a company to give an employee who is considered an asset, a fuel allowance, it benefits both us, the industry and the gaming community (that’s you guys) for us to have these games and consoles early.*

After all, would you rather wait for us to purchase and play a game on release? Why, when we can get it a week early and play it and have a review out for you to read and be informed by, come launch day?

Not that this always happens; in fact lots of times there aren’t really as many perks as you would think. The odd review copy (remember that reviews are shared between teams of five or more, on local websites), press event invite or closed screening (assuming you stay near where it’s being held, or get ready to splurge on fuel or flights) and of course, some ad revenue of which there typically isn’t enough to go around — and that’s kind of the problem a lot of the time. At least locally, the gaming journalism thing is not very lucrative; very few people locally exist on just their pay from writing about games. In a way, these so-called ‘perks’ that help us to do our jobs are actually all the recompense we get. Remember that, next time you’re hating a game reviewer for getting a game early.

Mix this in with having other employment because again, gaming can’t pay the bills in South Africa (mostly), and you get what is effectively someone writing part time and trying to play games (not for leisure, in most cases, but with purpose and while being critical) that take forever, and have a relevant and helpful review out on time. It can be a job sometimes, a proper slog at other times. And yet people like myself do it with smiles on their faces.

With all of this in mind, you start to see why sometimes, emphasis on sometimes, the ethics will slip.

You need those extra views. You need to impress sponsors and create more ad revenue. You need to build up a healthy readership. And you need to make it profitable at the same time, so that you at least get something out of what is hours upon hours of hard work. So you accept some favours and give some cool reviews because fuck it, why not? Other sites are going to do the review anyway, so why not get something out of the deal? And then the slippery slope becomes a full-on avalanche and integrity is forever lost in the depths below what was once a peaceful mountain… of… journalism stuff.

You needn’t look much further than Kotaku’s coverage (or lack thereof) of the Quinnspiracy and subsequent post-coverage of the accusations that have followed. One of their writers has been implicated and they’re not saying much (at the time of writing this). Why, when they typically bury their noses into everything? Is it because they’re too close to this matter? Is it because they don’t want to now be outed as a biased website?

But how much of it is wanting to save face, and how much of it is genuinely corrupt dealing? Through the Quinnspiracy a lot of just plain disgusting practices have been revealed, and I really hope that we in South Africa have not been guilty of this ourselves. Oh there are certainly some common beliefs amongst local websites and even their readers (judging from conversations I’ve had with gamers), of how things work here.

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I’ll go ahead and risk talking about it: It’s a common belief that Megarom and LazyGamer are close to each other, likewise that El33tOnline (RIP) and Ster-Kinekor had a solid partnership given all the giveaways they had that involved SK games. It’s a common belief that some sites get preference based on either their proximity or the people involved. But it’s nowhere near on international level, to my knowledge, and for the most part we kind of get why things are this way. For example, LazyGamer has an undisputed amount of views compared to other local sites, so of course a distributor looking to push its content will look to LG. In that same respect, we at EGMR also get a lot of cool things from the likes of Megarom, SK, Apex and Xbox — hands-on play sessions, interviews and the like. But it’s mostly just because locally we have a very small and close-knit community and there is a lot of love and mutual respect (for the most part) amongst the websites and distributors here, because we all understand that we’re trying to do a job and the only way to do it properly is to work together. Why there are press events for some events like game launches and just because lol, I don’t really know, but there is no ‘corruption’ so to speak, although I do stand corrected because I’m speaking only from what I know.

*hugs to all my SA games journalists*

Anyway back to the international scene, it’s not nearly as close-knit in this case. There are just too many people involved in any particular place for this to be a thing. And there is therefore a lot more competition, and when there is competition you really need an edge above everyone else. This is typically why I cannot respect, for example an Electronic Arts game reviewed by IGN when they’ve been doing a month of EA-exclusive coverage. But how do you work around it? Further, how does this tie into favourable coverage, or is that more in the realm of journalists simply losing their ethics and engaging in illicit practices because they can?

I think we can all unanimously agree that accepting sexual favours, money and any other kind of, let’s say extra-curricular perk, in exchange for favourable coverage, is an absolute no-no. But what in your eyes constitutes a fair and ethical relationship? After all, you as the reader can benefit from some of the relationships between the industry and journalists. For example with hands-ons, early impressions and developer interviews — on that note, I’m still awaiting the South Park: The Stick of Truth interview I sent through a while back… it had such cool questions.

With a corrupt police force (typically) you get internal affairs officers who will basically police the police, to ensure that they’re doing not just a good job but the right job. So who are these people for games journalists? Who comes in and draws the line between industry and journalists and says, “That’s it! Enough is enough. Take that dick out of your mouth, sir.”? Is it our readers? But how would they even know if something was amiss? I mean, look at the whole Quinnspiracy thing and some (stressing: some) of the evidence provided of illicit dealings.

I can certainly tell you who it’s not, and that’s Social Justice Warriors. Really, sometimes they are just as bad as the people they speak out against. Sometimes.

I don’t care to discuss sexism, feminism or the so-called white-knighting any further, but accusations of taking money from a Game Jam are quite serious and have nothing to do with sexual favours. Why are people not talking about this more? Although I suppose that’s the problem with society; we mull over the wrong parts of a problem. For example, if a building is on fire, do we blame the hot and dry weather, the person who started the fire, the person who contained the fire, or the person who designed a building without fire protection? What is really the problem here? Certainly not sexism. It’s not just Zoe Quinn; she was absolutely just a victim of a nasty breakup. But she is not the first and won’t be the last developer to have had any kind of relation with a journalist (I don’t give a fuck about what else she’s done with Phil Fish though, developers are free to frolic with each other) and gained from that relation.

So how do we now draw the line?

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It’s a very difficult question that I think can only be answered in one way: Full disclosure*. I think it’s vital to the close relationships that we build with our readers. Fair enough, a lot of the internet is filled with vile and atrocious people who exist simply as cave trolls, spreading hate and animosity online and feeling better about their loneliness through the vitriol they bring. These types of people cannot be avoided, and so there will always be people who take issue with the way that things are run. But I do think that if we are 100% honest with each other, then we can at least earn the respect of our readers and try to do our best for them, and if you don’t approve of a particular practice then you are welcome to call us out on it.

It’s a very trusting and perhaps even naive thing to consider. Who would even play along with such a notion? But right now it seems like all we have and like it or not, if a website or journalist wishes to engage in unethical, corrupt dealings — for example, defending a game they know is shit, because they’re close to the developers involved — then there’s really nothing we can do about it unless we somehow find out, and what are the chances of that happening? I’d like to find out what you guys think, so please hit the comments and share your thoughts.

For what it’s worth, I love doing this job and I know a lot of others who do to. I’ve actually been accused of wanting to ‘date’ EGMR because of how fervent I am, about it. You guys just don’t know how many hours I spend on here, sometimes, in the background, doing background things. It’s a passion as much as gaming is, and it’s almost never about reward to me. When I first started writing, one of our older writers told me that the feeling would fade and I’d become cynical like the rest of them. I’m happy to say that four years later, it just is not the case. Oh I’m not as into gaming as I once was, but I love writing and I love this site and its readers… most of them. It’s such a crying shame that some of the other less ethical journalists in the world are giving the rest of us such a bad rap.

* Full disclosure: Last week the local XBOX ZA crew held an event in Joburg in which a selection of local gaming websites were handed free Xbox Ones, as well as a bunch of games to play. We got one too. Now while this might irk some local gamers — please consider that we at least did not plaster social networks with pictures of the thing, because why do that to your community — we see it as a thing everyone can benefit from: We get an Xbox One for review purposes, Xbox ZA gets exposure for its games and an install base amongst websites, and you the reader can get Xbox-relevant reviews the likes of Sunset Overdrive and (sigh) Halo, in the coming months. Everybody wins, in this case. (Reviews coming soon.)

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eGamer Podcast #95: Danger Zone http://egmr.net/2014/08/egamer-podcast-95-danger-zone/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/egamer-podcast-95-danger-zone/#comments Thu, 28 Aug 2014 09:00:49 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155125 Recorded: 26 August 2014 Welcome to episode ninety-five of the eGamer Podcast, which we are dedicating to the almighty Archer because of how blatantly offensive and full of sexual innuendo […]

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Recorded: 26 August 2014

Welcome to episode ninety-five of the eGamer Podcast, which we are dedicating to the almighty Archer because of how blatantly offensive and full of sexual innuendo it is. Also, there’s a mention of ISIS so we guess there’s that too.

Topics discussed this week include the Quinnspiracy, ethics in games journalism, and the pointlessness of tablets.

Here are the shownotes for this week’s episode:

  • Guess who’s missing again…
  • It’s time for the N4G highlights reel.
  • Why do Indians like Metro Redux?
  • And now for some razy lacism from Marco.
  • We address the ethical situation in the gaming industry.
  • Quinnspiracy time!
  • A wild Bianca appears.
  • And now for some Archer references.
  • So that Sony hack was a thing that happened.
  • Our favourite Xbot and Sony fanboy joins the show.
  • What’s actually going on in the industry right now?
  • Why do tablets exist?
  • Frostbite looks amazing… but also not so amazing…
  • Watch this gif for maximum lulz.
  • This is what Bianca’s cosplaying this weekend.
  • We answer your questions.
  • Bianca freaks the fuck out to this.
  • Literally.

Don’t forget that you can subscribe to the RSS feed so you never miss an episode. Enjoy.

Direct Download | Libsyn | iTunes | RSS

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Guardians Of The Galaxy Hits $500 Million, Declared Best Marvel Movie By RDJ http://egmr.net/2014/08/guardians-galaxy-hits-500-million-declared-best-marvel-movie-rdj/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/guardians-galaxy-hits-500-million-declared-best-marvel-movie-rdj/#comments Thu, 28 Aug 2014 06:00:11 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155237 A few years ago if you told someone that a Guardians of the Galaxy movie would come out and make over $500 million in worldwide box office revenues, you’d be […]

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A few years ago if you told someone that a Guardians of the Galaxy movie would come out and make over $500 million in worldwide box office revenues, you’d be laughed all the way back into your dank cave where you would hibernate until today when you could surface and be a smug bastard about it.

But here’s the thing: It did, and it has.

We certainly loved it, and so did a lot of others. Most notable of which is Iron Man star, Tony Stark himself, Robert Downey Jr, who believes that Guardians of the Galaxy is the best Marvel movie yet.

I’m inclined to agree.

“Galaxy in some ways is the best Marvel movie ever,” said RDJ at the Toronto International Film Festival. “And it’s odd for someone with – on occasion – an ego the size of mine to actually say that!”

According to RDJ, part of the reason for it being the best is because it’s such a massive underdog compared to the likes of Iron Man and The Avengers.

“We’re talking about how the Iron Mans and the Thors and the Captain Americas and the Avengers movies have afforded Marvel the opportunity to essentially take what was a third-tier, minor, kind of upstart bit of potential from one of their comic books series and say: ‘Look!'”

Unanimous agreement? Who disagrees? Let us know in the comments. I for one will not stop going on about how Marvel put $170 million into a movie that nobody would ever have thought could be successful, and that made it work because they just went out and had some fun. If only DC would take a hint and start doing something similar instead of ‘no jokes please’…

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The PewDiePie Effect Has Caused EA To Start Reprinting Copies Of Skate 3 http://egmr.net/2014/08/pewdiepie-effect-caused-ea-start-reprinting-copies-skate-3/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/pewdiepie-effect-caused-ea-start-reprinting-copies-skate-3/#comments Wed, 27 Aug 2014 15:00:47 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155233 You can be forgiven for looking at that title and going, “wwwadafook?!” Because after all, Skate 3 is a terrible game that released four years ago and sold abysmally to […]

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You can be forgiven for looking at that title and going, “wwwadafook?!” Because after all, Skate 3 is a terrible game that released four years ago and sold abysmally to the point that publisher Electronic Arts just stopped making Skate games.

And yet here we are in August 2014 (inb4 omg the year is flying by so fast) and it’s currently listed at number 20 in sales charts.

Who do we have to thank for that but internet sensation and YouTube superstar PewDiePie, who created a series of Let’s Plays for Skate 3 at the beginning of the year. And why not, it’s such a glitch-filled hot mess that it would make for entertaining viewing anyway. But hey, we’re talking about Mr Most Subscribed himself, here. And a cool 12,300,000+ views and 8 Let’s Plays later, people are buying Skate 3 at such volumes that GAME had to put in a request with Electronic Arts to start reprinting new copies.

That’s right, PewDiePie has powers of resurrection, biches.

It’s pretty fucking crazy to think that YouTube personalities doing so-called shitty Let’s Plays of older games are capable of having this much of an effect on the gaming industry. Really think about this for a second, and then consider that someone like Phil Fish figured Let’s Players owed him money for playing FEZ. Now if only PewDiePie would start playing Lollipop Chainsaw, Dark Messiah or Freelancer…

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Let’s Have A Few Laughs About Angry Gamers http://egmr.net/2014/08/lets-laughs-angry-gamers/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/lets-laughs-angry-gamers/#comments Wed, 27 Aug 2014 09:00:13 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155197 If you were eagerly anticipating the next edition of Wolf’s Wicked Words then you’ll have to wait two more weeks because Rudolf is currently away on what he calls, “His […]

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If you were eagerly anticipating the next edition of Wolf’s Wicked Words then you’ll have to wait two more weeks because Rudolf is currently away on what he calls, “His Majesty’s Service”. We think he’s infiltrating a Neo-Nazi Internment Camp in Austria but hey, for all we know he could actually be servicing Her Majesty herself.

In the absence of regular viewing, we’ve decided to take the opportunity presented to us today and try something a little different.

The videogames industry has been ridiculously aggro of late and it’s begun to start affecting all of us. At least, I think so. And my thoughts obviously matter so we’ll go with them, k? Now I’m not actually a very angry person in real life, and having an online persona sometimes has the negative effect of telling the incorrect story of a person. So in the interest of showing everyone that hey, we at eGamer are actually really cool guys/girls/Adam who just love gaming and want to talk about games, I thought we’d try something today.

Embedded above is a rage compilation meant for the purposes of humour. Watch it and have a few laughs. And then what I want from you guys is to post your coolest or funniest videogame compilations. The kind of stuff that makes you proud to be a gamer, or just love this gaming industry. Anything you’d like, in the comments.

Oh and while you’re at it you might as well check out a video that resident Xbot and PS4fag (at the same time) Azhar created, a while back. It’s really good and has Pendulum so there’s that:

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Ever Wondered How Game Of Thrones Characters Would Look In A Disney Movie? http://egmr.net/2014/08/ever-wondered-game-thrones-look-disney-movie/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/ever-wondered-game-thrones-look-disney-movie/#comments Tue, 26 Aug 2014 12:00:29 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155085 Well wonder no more, because we now have just such creations to show to you all. Two really talented DeviantArt users put their minds together to create the following images […]

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Well wonder no more, because we now have just such creations to show to you all.

Two really talented DeviantArt users put their minds together to create the following images that take Game of Thrones characters and place them in an animation-styled filter, so that we might behold them through the eyes of Disney. In other words, as Disney characters in a feature film.

The artists in question are Fernando Mendonca and Anderson Mahanski; obviously big fans of the series, with some serious talent as well. Check out their work below, via the gallery.

Unfortunately while Dany is certainly a princess/queen that everyone who watches Game of Thrones adores, I think we can all agree that the best Disney princess is actually Thor.

Let us know what you think of this artwork in the comments below.

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Our 95th Podcast Records Tonight — Ask Us Things http://egmr.net/2014/08/95th-podcast-records-tonight-ask-us-things/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/95th-podcast-records-tonight-ask-us-things/#comments Tue, 26 Aug 2014 09:00:34 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155071 Slight rush today, so let’s keep this brief. Episode ninety-five, Windows 95, that’s the joke in the header. The latest episode of the eGamer Podcast records tonight and we’d like […]

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Slight rush today, so let’s keep this brief. Episode ninety-five, Windows 95, that’s the joke in the header. The latest episode of the eGamer Podcast records tonight and we’d like you to help us out with some cool questions.

It’s how we get our beloved readers and listeners involved, even those of you who don’t listen. We still love you. So go ahead and ask us anything you’d like, whether it pertains to gaming or not. I’ve got to go now.

Then be sure to check out either the site, our Libsyn page, iTunes or our RSS feed later in the week for the podcast, which will have all the answers and more. Tell your friends!

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Science Meets Gaming In Game Theory; The Most Underrated Channel On YouTube http://egmr.net/2014/08/science-meets-gaming-game-theory-underrated-channel-youtube/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/science-meets-gaming-game-theory-underrated-channel-youtube/#comments Mon, 25 Aug 2014 15:00:17 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=155030 Science and gaming are by far and away two of the coolest things in the world, despite what your oversexed (and typically underwhelmed) friends might tell you. Science on its […]

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Science and gaming are by far and away two of the coolest things in the world, despite what your oversexed (and typically underwhelmed) friends might tell you.

Science on its own can be fascinating and informative and teach you many things while helping you to understand who you are, what you are and how you are the way you are.

Gaming meanwhile allows us, when we’re not fighting amongst each other (had to), to escape into worlds crafted by the imagination and filled with things that delight and entertain us.

Put ‘em together and what do you get?

Meet The Game Theorists, whom you can find out more about in the video above. They have a YouTube channel dedicated to asking scientific questions (pure scientists might groan at the mention of this, but just go along with it okay?) of the games we play every day.

Does Portal’s companion cube have a dark secret? Can you really be hacked like in Watch_Dogs? What are the best instruments for surviving a zombie attack? All of these and more can be found in the channel linked above.

I’ve tweeted about the Game Theory show before, after discovering their existence over on The Escapist. I really do think it’s the most underrated gaming-related show on YouTube if not the internet in its entirety, and I’d like to take this opportunity to share it with you all. It’s meant to be entertaining so they do make some stretches with the scientific experiments, but for the most part it is actually accurate and verifiable within some context, and the ideas they have are just so damn intriguing that how could you not watch the videos?

This series is the closest we’ve come to the excellent Extracreditz show that you barely ever even hear about anymore, since it moved over from The Escapist to Penny Arcade a good few years ago now. Although it totally still exists so check that one out, too.

Have a watch of some Game Theory episodes and let us know what you think in the comments below.

BONUS: Some extra reading on the definition of theory, because it’s different in science.

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Quinnspiracy: Fear-Mongering, Controversy And Why Indie Gaming Is Not Ready To Be Taken Seriously http://egmr.net/2014/08/quinnspiracy-fear-mongering-controversy-indie-gaming-ready-taken-seriously/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/quinnspiracy-fear-mongering-controversy-indie-gaming-ready-taken-seriously/#comments Fri, 22 Aug 2014 11:15:49 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=154868 It has been a tumultuous few weeks in the gaming sphere; last week there was bad blood between console gamers surrounding the announcement of Tomb Raider’s sequel as an Xbox […]

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It has been a tumultuous few weeks in the gaming sphere; last week there was bad blood between console gamers surrounding the announcement of Tomb Raider’s sequel as an Xbox One exclusive, and this week saw the scandal — and it really is just that — surrounding Zoe Quinn that resulted in one of YouTube’s most beloved gaming personalities becoming a target of the indie gaming world. Aren’t you all so sick and tired of this by now?

The Zoe Quinn saga is one that I initially stayed out of, mostly just because I had a lot going on in my life this week and I couldn’t really get a chance to sit down and read up about it. I saw some tweets, and actually read TotalBiscuit’s initial Twitlonger post about the topic, and finally last night I got a chance to see what all the fuss was about. I have to say, immediately after reading it I felt ashamed to have ever called myself a gamer.

There is vitriol in this industry right now.

I don’t know whether it’s because nothing is really coming out at the moment and so without that old panem et circenses we’re basically turning on each other, but a lot of animosity seems to be coming to the surface and erupting like volcanoes all over the gaming industry. It’s upsetting for those of us who see just how frivolous and unnecessary a lot of it is. But hey, we’re here to talk about that ostentatious title, so let’s get to it.

If you need a quick rundown on the Zoe Quinn saga, and you’re too lazy to read the article linked above, basically what happened is that Zoe — who worked on a game called Depression Quest — was accused by her ex-boyfriend of trading sexual favours for favourable coverage of her game, with industry journalists. This story then blew up all over the internet until Zoe posted a blog post explaining things but not addressing the claims. From there, things spiralled far out of control and the end-result seems to be something of a war between indie gaming and games journalism, as detailed in the article linked above — seriously just read it.

Now there are a few aspects of this story that must be discussed if we are to get a full picture. I’m going to throw in my own thoughts on the matter since, after all, that’s why I’m typing this thing up in the first place.

Let’s first talk about the actual claims made. Now I don’t care if you’re a Social Justice Warrior or a Mens Rights Activist or any-fucking-thing else. These are some serious claims that feed into a whole other aspect of gaming. The idea of developers and publishers being ‘buddy-buddy’ with journalists is not a new one, and it’s certainly a very contentious topic for obvious reasons: It brings objectivity into question.

Locally we have distributors who are quite close to some sites, and in the past accusations of favourable coverage have been thrown around. Not many people would throw around actual names but it’s typically known more or less, who tends to favour who. Personally, I don’t see our local sites as journalistic but rather as gaming portals of a sort; we exist to localise international news and to provide some cool locally-relevant opinions of our own. In this way, I don’t think the whole ‘journalistic integrity’ is as much of a concept here but I will still argue that it’s necessary until I’m blue in the face.

When he was still here with us, Alessandro and I actually got into quite a massive email fight about my belief that a games journalist who moves into a PR position at any company involved in the games industry is a complete sell-out. It really is one of the most heated topics of gaming; I mean we all remember the likes of Doritosgate.

All of this said, there is a level of necessity to covering games. For example, we might get review copies for free but they’re for the purposes of review, which means we are doing a job with them. Likewise a lot of other things that some consider to be ‘benefits’ of writing about games. Nobody begrudges Jeremy Clarkson for driving his supercars in Top Gear, but he does. I think the fine line here comes in showing that stuff off. Journalists, stop being complete cunts douchebags and showing off the free stuff you get; it’s not part of your job to do that.

But I digress. The point here is that when we talk about the relationships between developers and journalists, shit gets really awkward. And it is my opinion that an angry ex fed off this sort of awkwardness and created what effectively amounts to fear-mongering, a controversial scandal with the sole purpose of causing permanent professional harm to Zoe Quinn and her reputation. She could quite easily have come out and defended herself and ended all of this, either accepting responsibility if the claims were true or denying them vehemently, but I think that the choice she made in the end was the correct one; she doesn’t need to defend diddly squat.

It might not put the controversy to bed but it’s the right call if you ask me. This is the equivalent of conspiracy theory and she is in no way accountable to us as either the gaming industry, or the gaming community. We have no right to force her to defend claims made against her unless there is compelling evidence to substantiate those claims and in the absence of such, we should be siding with her, or just not picking a side and leaving it be. The problem is that, as I said, this is a contentious topic. And it’s very easy to immediately get angry and jump on the bandwagon of hating that chick with the piercings who makes games because she’s obviously fucking every journalist to get that great review.

Depression Quest might well just be a great game, and as someone who has seen how depression can ruin lives I would also provide coverage for it. What if Zoe Quinn just created a really great game that deserved the coverage it got? But you see, it’s just easier for the gaming community — and the internet as a whole — to hate on someone because of their own insecurities regarding this industry. And I’m not saying it doesn’t happen. Not at all. I’ve had testimony from at least one person who says that there are women entering this industry and hoping that their good looks will take them further than their skills can.

But as much as the sexism debate is rife in the industry right now, it doesn’t necessarily lend credence to every possible case. So my thoughts on Zoe’s alleged sexual favours? Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t, I lean towards the latter because I just cannot take an ex’s account of things seriously, and he certainly did himself no favours in his manner of execution. This played out exactly like a witch hunt, and so I’m forced to treat it as such.

epic-meal-time-vs-totalbiscuit-john-bain

Poor TotalBiscuit… Here we must come to the second aspect of this story, and it’s related to the indie world’s alienation of YouTube. As previously explained, TotalBiscuit initially commented on the Zoe Quinn story by saying that he was not getting involved and encouraged everyone to take the internet’s claims with a pinch of salt. Later Zoe tweeted about parasitic YouTubers, to which TotalBiscuit reacted. The end-result was a lot of indie game developers turning on TotalBiscuit and making it an us-versus-them styled war between indie gaming developers and YouTubers, as they’re called, with even the man who is doing more and more to vindicate my initial (pre-Fez) claims that he’s a man-child with too much attention on him, Phil Fish, throwing some insults into the mix.

Why were indie game developers picking on TotalBiscuit? Well they saw his stance as one that was against Zoe Quinn and took it personally. They said they would pull support and not allow TotalBiscuit coverage of their games. And this, readers, is why I wrote an article back in February about indie gaming just not being ready for popularity. Indie gaming is like an adolescent teen being asked to do an adult’s job. Oh they showed some promise as children and there were great expectations for them, prodigal sons and daughters that they were. But at the first real responsibility, they dropped the ball and showed their immaturity, proving that they still have a lot of growing to do.

Look, we who write about games do not do it for ourselves. TotalBiscuit might earn a living from his games coverage but that doesn’t mean he does it for the money. Furthermore, if he wants to do coverage of a game then there is nothing in any legal statute that is going to stop him; the law just does not work that way. So all of these indie game developers threatening to pull their games from TotalBiscuit’s channel by abusing YouTube’s copyright claims system are being extremely petty, above being immature. And that’s not all, folks! Because before this, they were more than happy to benefit from all of the coverage that so-called ‘YouTubers’ the likes of TotalBiscuit and PewDiePie offered their games; in fact, the developers were the ones who were approaching YouTubers in order to get that sort of coverage.

And now they all turn on TotalBiscuit, why? Because they must defend one of their own? What are they, twelve? Indie gaming is not ready for the spotlight, and it proves it time and time again. I’ve said this for years now. And I said it knowing that all of us want to see the indie gaming sphere grow and reach a stage when it can compete pound for pound with strong triple-A titles. But it’s far, far easier to hide behind a company’s name, than to go and put out a game on your own and incur the wrath of the internet. And this is why triple-A shows more maturity even though it has its own set of — perhaps ‘adult’ in this gaming metaphor — problems to deal with.
So at the end of this entire fuss, what have we learned? A few things:

  • The gaming community is so insecure about the accusation that journalists and developers do unscrupulous things that all you need to do is create a story and whether it’s true or not, it will turn into a massive argument and engulf the internet in hate and anger for days, if not weeks. Not unlike other very human conspiracies, the likes of religious debate and even vaccination.
  • The indie gaming world is far too defensive and therefore also insecure; very happy to enjoy the perks of game coverage but quick to turn around and alienate those who cover their games at the first sign of contention. Like adolescents they are not looking for a constructive discussion but rather just have a lot of angst and perhaps just need to get laid (inside joke).

It’s a tragic situation for Zoe Quinn and I would never wish that on anyone, guilty or innocent. She has had pictures of herself posted all across the internet and had her privacy entirely compromised. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine random people you’ve interacted with online, showing up at your door one night? That is ridiculously scary. And all this because of a messy breakup with a boyfriend who happened to understand the poisonous element that is 4chan. Perpetuated further down the line by a ‘picking sides’ mentality that is telling of a subsection of this gaming industry that just doesn’t understand how to be in the spotlight.

We always talk about how we should be positive about gaming and look for the good in everything; the more PR-like writers will tell you about the silver linings and bright sides and try to create euphemisms for otherwise bad situations. The undeniable observable truth here is that gamers are just the worst kind of human beings, when they want to be. And that’s an unavoidable aspect of being a gamer in 2014. There’s no point ignoring it and pretending everything is great. It isn’t, and the sooner we realise that, the sooner we can all play Depression Quest to help us feel better.

Insert facetious disclaimer here about how no sexual favours were traded for coverage of this topic.

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Who Will Star-Lord’s Dad Be In The Guardians Of The Galaxy Sequel? We Take Some Guesses http://egmr.net/2014/08/think-know-star-lords-dad-marvel-plans-guardians-galaxy-sequel/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/think-know-star-lords-dad-marvel-plans-guardians-galaxy-sequel/#comments Thu, 21 Aug 2014 11:15:01 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=154496 If you’re a fan of the Marvel Studios movies then you’ve probably already watched Guardians of the Galaxy at least once if not more times — as far as most […]

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If you’re a fan of the Marvel Studios movies then you’ve probably already watched Guardians of the Galaxy at least once if not more times — as far as most of us are concerned, Marvel Studios can take all of our money and then some.

We certainly enjoyed Guardians of the Galaxy and it was quite refreshing to see that even the comic book faithful were appeased. One of the mysteries of the movie that was left undoubtedly for the sequel, was the identity of Star-Lord’s (so excellently portrayed by Chris Pratt) estranged father. Now if you’ve read any of the Guardians of the Galaxy comics, you might have heard of Spartax ruler J’son — which, when you consider that Star-Lord’s name is Peter Jason Quill, kinda makes sense in comic book land — the man who made the nasty with an Earth girl and knocked her up, then had their son abducted to be brought to him, after she died. Only that didn’t quite work out…

Perhaps that’s a bit of a spoiler but don’t worry, it’s all revealed in the Guardians of the Galaxy movie if you’re paying attention, not that any of it matters anyway because Marvel Studios are going to be taking a whole other spin on Star-Lord’s dad. This is according to director James Gunn, who revealed that they have something different in mind for the father of the only human Guardian of the Galaxy. Well, half human.

“There have been a lot of documents passed around about who Peter Quill’s father is between a select two or three of us,” explained Gunn. “That’s been part of the plan since the beginning, that’s something I had to work out before we shot the screenplay. We wanted to make sure Yondu’s place in everything made sense and it does, so it’s all very specific stuff. It’s definitely not the character who it is in the comics, I’ll say that much.”

So who is it then? Well from the Guardians of the Galaxy movie’s clues, we know that Quill’s mother referred to him as an “angel” and at a point mention was made of a being of pure light. We also know that the Nova Corps had never encountered anything like his genetic code before, citing an ancient species of alien, whatever it was that allowed him to hold onto the Orb for longer when others were decimated by it. Then of course, he was abducted from Earth in the eighties under orders from his dad, according to Yondu (Michael Rooker) — the guy with the glowing mohawk and blue skin who whistle-killed his way to a Dota-styled Rampage at the end.

Theories floating around the internet have led to a few suggestions that are steeped in Guardians of the Galaxy lore.

The first is Major Victory — Vance Astrovik — who is a member of the original Guardians lineup, and if the movies will deal with time travel and temporal displacement, could certainly account for that whole ‘ancient’ vibe at least to some extent since technically, Vance is kind of a human. Then again Yondu is from the future so who even gives a fuck in this universe.

Other suggestions include Starhawk — another member of the original Guardians team — as well as Odin, whom we all know already as an established ruler of Asgard… at least, cosmetically. Watch Thor: The Dark World if you’re confused. There have even been such oddities as Eternity thrown around, suggesting that perhaps Star-Lord has cosmic origins, which at the very least could explain his ability to hold the Orb.

This is Adam Warlock punching the cosmic shit out of Thanos. Any questions?

This is Adam Warlock punching the shit out of Thanos. Any questions?

Perhaps the most interesting suggestion is that it could be Adam Warlock, which would fit perfectly into the meta because Warlock is not technically human but more of a lab experiment (hence unrecognisable genetic code) and he could have just gone away to his cocoon to replenish his form, hence being away for most of Star-Lord’s life. It’s obviously a stretch but do consider that Star-Lord’s dad is kind of a big deal and Adam Warlock can directly control the Soul Gem, which makes him kind of a big deal as well. It might be a drastic departure from canon but hey, I’ll take it.

Although if I may propose a few suggestions of my own: The first is Richard Rider. Now this one’s a bit of a stretch because technically, he’s a human. But what if the Nova Corps did fall under hard times as expected, and Richard Rider did become the last Nova Corps as expected, but then went back in time and created Star-Lord to prevent that fall from happening? It probably doesn’t hold as much weight as Warlock might, but you have to admit it would make for a pretty kickass story right? Albeit something of a paradoxical situation of, “I exist because you exist because I exist.” Maybe I just love paradoxes.

The second is Micheal Korvac who is technically an evil character but forms one of those anomalous roles within the Marvel universe, and has been a feature of Guardians of the Galaxy comics before. He also fills that ‘being of pure light’ category quite nicely, and could even explain why the Nova Corps couldn’t figure out Quill’s genetic code. This one’s even more of a stretch though, but if it comes to pass then know that I called it first. Because I’m smug like that, I guess? (If I didn’t then just forget this article exists.)

Left to right: Michael Korvac, Adam Warlock, Richard Rider (Nova).

Left to right: Michael Korvac, Adam Warlock, Richard Rider (Nova).

What do you think? Who is Star-Lord’s daddy? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

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South Africans, The FPB Will Be Regulating Your Internet Soon http://egmr.net/2014/08/south-africans-fpb-will-regulating-internet-soon/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/south-africans-fpb-will-regulating-internet-soon/#comments Thu, 21 Aug 2014 09:45:26 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=154750 Of all the organisations currently in existence that bear any relation to the government and its daily running, the Film and Publication Board has to be one of the most […]

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Of all the organisations currently in existence that bear any relation to the government and its daily running, the Film and Publication Board has to be one of the most superfluous. At least, that’s an opinion that is shared by many who see no need for regulating what society gets to see. After all, protecting children from pornography and other so-called ‘harmful’ content should be the job of the parents, not the government.

Nonetheless, the FPB does exist and in fairness they’ve always been relatively liberal in South Africa, as compared to similar ratings boards in other countries. We don’t get a lot of stuff banned here and the stuff that is banned typically finds its way in anyway. A sign of a country that successfully fought for media expression and freedom, or just an incompetent ratings board? You decide. Either way, the FPB is now planning to “establish an efficient and effective online and new media content regulatory strategy for the country.”

This is according to the FPB’s strategic plan for 2014 to 2018 which seeks to regulate online content as per its 2012 strategic review process. According to the FPB, the need for online content regulation stems from the popularity of the internet as a media distribution platform in the country… presumably nobody told them that it’s functionally impossible to regulate the internet but hey, let them try right?

And try they will. The FPB claims to be investigating “innovative mechanisms” that could be used in order to regulate the internet in South Africa. “The programme will entail setting up of the infrastructure necessary for effective regulation of the internet.”

Meanwhile rape, murder and unemployment are still going strong.

There are two main online and mobile content regulation strategic objectives:

  • Development and implementation of a content regulation framework and strategy that ensures 100% classification and labelling of classifiable content distributed on online, mobile and related platforms, by 2017.
  • To form and maintain national and international partnerships with key stakeholders, other regulators and law enforcement agencies for improved regulation of content distributed through online, mobile and related platforms.

Here is a full breakdown of the FPB’s online content regulation plan:

FPB-online-content-regulation-plan

That’s a bit depressing, isn’t it? What amazes me is that — perhaps because we’re just too preoccupied with fighting about console exclusives — the local industry really isn’t kicking up nearly as much of a fuss about this as we should be.

Ellipsis Regulatory Solutions CEO Dominic Cull, who spoke at ConverseSA 2014, seems to agree with me on this notion, at least to an extent. He says that industry players and consumers should become aware that online regulation in South Africa may be here soon, and that the FPB now sits within the “new” Department of Communications — 1984, anyone? — and is already positioning itself as an online content regulator in our country.

Kinda fucked up, if I may be so blunt.

Cull explained that an amendment in 2004 to the Film and Publications Act of 1996 meant that all Internet Service Providers were required to register with the FPB, with a further amendment in 2009 making it a statutory offence to not be registered and a prison sentence possible for failing to do so.

“Today the latest Film and Publications Regulations say that you are prohibited from operating as an ISP unless you are registered with the FPB, have provided a tax clearance certificate and a statement detailing which measures you take to protect children from exposure to ‘pornography and child pornography’, given that you provide internet access.”

In March 2014 these regulations expanded to include mobile and online content providers.

“It is by no means clear who is required to register and the FPB should move quickly to clarify its position in this regard,” said Cull. What’s quite staggering is that online distributors and large international online platforms are required to register with the FPB as “online distributors” at a fee of up to R750,000 per year, determined at the discretion of the executive committee. R750,000 per year, just to be regulated.

And our gaming community thought the MSSA was a bad idea…

This is just on a whole other level, if you ask me. Imagine if you will that you open up YouTube and must then provide your ID number or other personal details just to watch videos on there. Or that you get flagged for inappropriate conduct when someone else uses your details to solicit illegal activity. This is what the future could be like if this sort of regulation comes to pass. (Hopefully LulzSec are around to help if it ever happens.)

What’s the isiZulu for Big Brother?

Full credit for this article goes to MyBroadband for the original article. Source link below.

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eGamer Podcast #94: Getting Rekt http://egmr.net/2014/08/egamer-podcast-94-getting-rekt/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/egamer-podcast-94-getting-rekt/#comments Thu, 21 Aug 2014 09:00:49 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=154570 Recorded: 19 August 2014 Welcome to episode ninety-four of the eGamer Podcast which has about as much gaming talk in it as EA has good faith. But hey, there’s other […]

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Recorded: 19 August 2014

Welcome to episode ninety-four of the eGamer Podcast which has about as much gaming talk in it as EA has good faith. But hey, there’s other talk!

Topics discussed include Diablo III, The Sims 4 and getting rekt.

Here are the shownotes for this week:

  • Get MLG rekt!
  • Going from playing Sacred 3 to playing Diablo III.
  • Bianca has a semi.
  • We share some of our recent derps, and shitty journalism.
  • Cue the sad violins.
  • If you’re pre-ordering The Sims 4, don’t.
  • We take a moment to hate on talk about ACIII.
  • No more origin stories for Marvel movies.
  • There really isn’t much gaming talk this week.
  • We talk about gaming tattoos we’d get.
  • Get Snoop rekt!
  • What do you even do at the end of your studies?
  • And now for some Russians.
  • We answer your questions.
  • Get fruit rekt!
  • Cool band names, because we can.
  • Dom finishes all over the podcast.

Don’t forget that you can subscribe to the RSS feed so you never miss an episode. Enjoy.

Direct Download | Libsyn | iTunes | RSS

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No More Origin Stories In Marvel Movies, Starting With Doctor Strange http://egmr.net/2014/08/origin-stories-marvel-movies-starting-doctor-strange/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/origin-stories-marvel-movies-starting-doctor-strange/#comments Wed, 20 Aug 2014 11:15:29 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=154493 Coming off the recent mega success story that was Guardians of the Galaxy, a lot of the more nitpicky reviewers questioned why Marvel felt a need to do another origin […]

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Coming off the recent mega success story that was Guardians of the Galaxy, a lot of the more nitpicky reviewers questioned why Marvel felt a need to do another origin story when they could have just thrown the Guardians into the thick of things. Certainly, the movie did seem to be setting up for something much larger, almost exactly in the same way that Iron Man, Thor and Captain America set up for Avengers in 2012.

But now Marvel Studios has decided that they’re done with that sort of thing and starting with the upcoming Doctor Strange movie, they’re adopting a new mantra: No more origin stories.

And that’s just wonderful.

“Marvel’s new thing is ‘No More Origin Stories,’ so Doctor Strange is no longer an origin,” explains Devin Faraci, head editor on a site I frequent called Badass Digest. “It begin in medias res, it’s got Doctor Strange already established as the Sorcerer Supreme, and it’s a totally new script.”

Faraci is a well-reputed reliable source for Marvel Studios production news, and in the same conversation (a podcast you can find through the source link below) he talked about how the Doctor Strange script was actually re-written “in-house” after initially being structured as a traditional origin story.

I think we can all agree that this is a great step forward for Marvel Studios. After all, with the likes of Ant Man, Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Doctor Strange and so many more characters in this comic book universe, we could be getting origin stories until we’re all old and greying, so why even bother? The reading is there, for those who are interested. Marvel has already established that they mean business. Why not just go ahead and give us proper stories?

We expect there will be some backstory revelation in upcoming movies, just to catch viewers up with the meta. But closer to the time, you can definitely expect us to put out ‘everything you need to know’ type articles regarding these characters. For example, Doctor Stephen Strange (who actually has a great origin story) was a brilliant but arrogant surgeon who permanently injured his hands in an accident and sought a magical cure before being ‘tricked’ into becoming The Sorcerer Supreme; a master of magic who is tasked with protecting Earth from demons and other nasties.

So what do you think of the whole ‘no more origin stories’ mantra? Is it a keeper, or do you prefer being introduced to your heroes first? It certainly worked for Blade, didn’t it? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

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These Are Possibly The Sexiest Star Wars Watermarks You’ll Ever See http://egmr.net/2014/08/possibly-sexiest-star-wars-watermarks-youll-ever-see/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/possibly-sexiest-star-wars-watermarks-youll-ever-see/#comments Tue, 19 Aug 2014 11:15:20 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=154350 Tattoo possibilities, anyone? Star Wars fans, this one’s for you guys. A random person on the internet whom I would totally credit if I knew who they were, put out […]

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Tattoo possibilities, anyone?

Star Wars fans, this one’s for you guys. A random person on the internet whom I would totally credit if I knew who they were, put out a series of really cool pictures for the world to behold.

Check out the gallery below for some of the downright sexiest examples of Star Wars watermarks you’ll see. They’re pretty cool, right? I mean, you could make tattoos out of those images, if not really eye-catching frames or canvases on a wall. The possibilities are, you might say, galactic.

Wait does that even work as a phrase? Anyway, credit goes to site-reader Sudeyan, for the find. Let us know in the comments what you think of these creations, and how you’d use them if you could. Also, which is your favourite?

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Our 94th Podcast Records Tonight — Ask Us Things http://egmr.net/2014/08/94th-podcast-records-tonight-ask-us-things/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/94th-podcast-records-tonight-ask-us-things/#comments Tue, 19 Aug 2014 09:00:08 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=154409 As South Africans, we’ve grown to understand that while many theists might believe that someone gave their life for our sins one, a whole bunch of people dedicated their entire […]

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As South Africans, we’ve grown to understand that while many theists might believe that someone gave their life for our sins one, a whole bunch of people dedicated their entire lives to our freedom. A freedom that, you might argue, we aren’t fully taking advantage of right now. But a freedom that nonetheless allows us to craft our own path through it.

But that’s not why we’re here, is it? No, this article isn’t meant to be political but rather to be… uhm… podcast-ical? Tonight we’ll be recording episode ninety-four of the eGamer Podcast, a multi-platform gaming show for all! And we want you to get involved by scrolling down to the comments section and asking us any kind of question you’d like; it could be about gaming, it could be about movies, music, series, or even freedom babies. The floor is yours.

Then be sure to check out either the site, our Libsyn page, iTunes or our RSS feed later in the week for the podcast, which will have all the answers and more. Tell your friends!

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Here Is How Modern Games Might Have Looked In The PlayStation One Era http://egmr.net/2014/08/modern-games-might-looked-playstation-one-era/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/modern-games-might-looked-playstation-one-era/#comments Mon, 18 Aug 2014 11:15:45 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=154405 There are a fair few of these types of thing online; modern games that are taken and worked into older versions of themselves. Common though the idea might be, it’s […]

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There are a fair few of these types of thing online; modern games that are taken and worked into older versions of themselves. Common though the idea might be, it’s always really neat to actually see the results of such.

In this case, there was a thread on NeoGAF recently in which a bunch of games were shown off as PlayStation One era classics. So-called ‘demakes’, or ‘demasters’, the idea of taking modern games and creating older, blockier versions of them extended to the likes of The Last of Us, Dead Space, Watch_Dogs and even Crysis, which you can see up above.

The PlayStation One era is certainly the closest thing to gaming’s ‘puberty’ stage, when things were awkward and blocky and there was hair everywhere… and by hair, we mean jaggies, and by jaggies we imply that anti-aliasing was the equivalent of discovering a razor.

Anyway, check out the gallery of images below and try to spot all of the games on show. Hint: One of them is Persona 4, the rest of them are not. Which is your favourite, and which would you like to see ‘demade’?

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Life, The Universe And Gaming: There’s More To Life Than Videogames http://egmr.net/2014/08/life-universe-gaming-panem-et-circenses/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/life-universe-gaming-panem-et-circenses/#comments Mon, 18 Aug 2014 09:00:31 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=152461 Don’t worry, there is a point to be made. Hi, my name is Caveshen Rajman and I’m here today to tell you all that I know a lot less than […]

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Don’t worry, there is a point to be made.

Hi, my name is Caveshen Rajman and I’m here today to tell you all that I know a lot less than I think I do.

If you’re confused or wondering why I felt a need to start my column in this way then just hold on for a bit, because I have a story to tell. If you guys would humour me for a few hundred (thousand) words.

I’ve always considered myself to be knowledgeable about most things. Certainly, nobody has ever really challenged me whom I couldn’t wave off as either fanatical or superfluous to my existence. That was until recently, about a month ago now, when someone close to me (take a shot, podcast listeners) opened my eyes to just how ignorant I was. I didn’t know everything, in fact I barely knew anything that I could substantiate with verifiable facts, and a lot of what I did know was centered on some aspect of gaming. In other words, if it wasn’t gaming-related, I knew a lot less than I thought I did. More than enough to ‘sound’ intellectual, sure, but not nearly enough to hold an actual intellectual conversation.

Honestly this revelation kind of broke me, because it shattered a reality that had not previously been challenged in my life. In a way my eyes were opened. Anyway to cut a long story short, the realisation dawned on me that for all my passion and knowledge of this gaming industry, as much as I can talk at length about Peter Molyneux, BioWare’s storytelling or Bungie’s inexplicably loving fanbase, once gaming is stripped away then I don’t really have a lot to fall back on. I sure thought I did but the moment someone with the intellectual capability challenged me, that thought was quickly and brutally put to bed. And so came the inspiration for this column…

In fairness to my point, I’ve had the idea to write this column ever since then and I’ve only been putting it off because I wanted more time to do the research and be absolutely sure of everything I say here, because I felt I needed to deftly word every single statement to prevent from losing everyone to hateful comments. Then last week happened and the whole Rise of the Tomb Raider saga caused me to come to the realisation that those who actually want to have a fruitful discussion will read what I have to say, and those who don’t will simply skip ahead to the comments and flame. To those of you who stick around and read every word, I cannot ever fully express the gratitude and appreciation I feel, but I will at least say thank you for sticking with me. I sincerely mean that with every fibre of my being. Now, shall we?

In the postmortem of that discussion about how I really know nothing Jon Snow, I decided to start watching some documentaries and reading some non-fiction. Something that stuck with me was that I had spent so many years burying myself in fiction that my personal growth had all but stagnated. Oh, I saw what I thought was growth. I certainly see it now in myself. But it was almost as if gaming had provided me the wrong kind of growth, a sort of stunted progression along what should have been a gradual incline but instead was awkward and skewed. And it got me wondering how many others are so into gaming, so passionately vehemently into gaming, that they would forgo personal growth and any sort of self-efficacy in favour of the next great game.

It’s so easy for us on the internet to have opinions, and especially in gaming we tend to throw them out more and more by the day. I’ve realised that I’m tired of it. At the start of this year I wrote about arguing the same old tired things year in and year out and just like that, we’ve been doing so. Resolution, graphics, DLC, dodgy business practices and so on. Last year I wrote about how much I hate exclusives and yet last week I found myself defending one just on principle. And why? What point and purpose did any of it serve? Was there some form of active discussion to be had, or was I just being defensive because of what I saw as a double standard between two pieces of plastic and their relevant supporters? When did Sony and Microsoft achieve religious status, to the point that their supporters would be fanatically defensive of them? They’re just gaming consoles. So insignificant in the bigger picture of things. Why did they upset me that much?

Then I got to thinking of another thing I’ve talked about before, which is a latin concept known as panem et circenses, something that I had also talked about in a previous column, albeit briefly. The idea is that we are distracted by food and entertainment as a means of keeping us in line. Arguing over otherwise pointless things so that the powers that be can be left to their own devices is an easy off-shoot of this concept. Put in a gaming-related sense: Console manufacturers promote commercialism and pit us against each other and we fight and argue and attack each other but their brand is effectively what’s promoted, and they are left to simply exploit us and reap the profits. I think this to be true of both companies, Microsoft and Sony, as well as Nintendo and every game publisher. Even the good ones. It’s not so much conspiracy theory as it is a decided lack of evidence to the contrary, and a now two thousand year old concept that still has relevance. Think of the alternate version of George Orwell’s 1984, or: a book called A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.

Arguably, in terms of personal growth, gaming is pointless in the grander scheme of things. Yes it gives us entertainment and helps us to develop some skills — you might say that it could make you rich but playing football could make you rich and do you spend as many hours on that? — and can even provide us with comfort and a place to belong; I’ve never felt happier in my life (well, there was that one time) than when I was at rAge amongst people I could call my equals, at least in terms of gaming. But that was obviously just because I fed that gaming passion so much. But now it’s obviously different. Now I look at a whole bunch of games and think, “This is going to keep me so damn unproductive while I play all of it. Maybe I just shouldn’t.” And then I go off and do other things instead.

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It was a very drastic and shocking revelation to the eGamer WhatsApp group when I admitted that I see the pointlessness of achievements and GamerScore now. To clarify this point, I will stand and defend them as a means of helping one to prioritise, and they certainly got me to stop playing Dota as much as I once did. But now I realise that the type of prioritisation is not the correct one. And this could apply to every aspect of gaming as well.

See, just like how a person who knows big words isn’t necessarily actually smart, it’s possible to be the wrong kind of productive. At least, as far as I’m concerned it is. Sure you might consider building a bookshelf to be constructive and it is, but if you have no intention of putting books on that shelf then why bother when you could have used that time to create a keyholder for yourself, since you keep losing your keys for example. Likewise achievements and gaming in general convey a sense of false reward and instant gratification, where we are led to believe that our good deeds will result in rewards for us as people, and that if we want something then it is immediately attainable once we complete a certain checklist.

In real life it is obviously not so. That girl you like might not necessarily like you back and there’s nothing you can do about that, no matter how many ‘wear her down’ stories you’ve heard. Likewise you might never be able to afford an expensive car (Porsche for me), or work in a very high-paying job. And this isn’t me crushing dreams so much as it’s encouraging realistic thought. By all means aspire to these things but don’t expect them to magically happen. Gaming has a habit of making us think that with minimal work anything is possible. True for a videogame where you can sit on your ass and save the galaxy; not so for real life where you really need to get up and do something about what you want (Disclaimer: legal). Trust me on this one.

Some of you might consider this entire column to be unnecessary. I’m hoping that it’s because you guys already know how to ration your gaming such that it doesn’t get in the way of your living (and by extension, personal growth). Likely a lot of you will think I’m just spouting off a whole lot of bullshit that I should save for a blog somewhere, and stop presuming to preach to you about your gaming habits because how dare I and fuck me. And that’s okay. I’m not really here to change anyone’s mind so much as I’m just here to get everyone thinking about their own gaming habits (and by extension, personal growth). Nothing in our gaming industry should be so important — no matter how many billions of dollars this industry is worth — that we would be willing to lose friends (and (worthy) readers) over it.

Nothing should make you so passionate without doing as much to help you grow as a person.

So by all means, take a break from gaming every now and then and pick up a book or watch a documentary or visit a museum or just read articles on the internet even; do something to educate yourself and grow as a person. It’s often said by creationists that atheism is a path to depression and meaninglessness because without god how can anyone find purpose to their lives, but that’s just one way of looking at it. As I type this (Friday morning in a computer lab at my university) I’m quite relaxed and sated. I’m looking forward to my next meal while craving pork ribs and perhaps a mocha. I’m also thinking of the amazing sleep I’m going to have later this evening. I’m wondering when aforementioned person above (take a shot, podcast listeners) will be done with her lecture. There are other thoughts which I won’t share. But my point is, life is not devoid of meaning and certainly not depressing once you remove that thing that you’re passionate about. It ideally should not be devoid of meaning, anyway, and I speak as someone who in the last few months has played just a handful of anything.

Now ask yourself: If gaming in its entirety was removed from the world, would you survive?

If the answer is yes then awesome, hopefully you’re not just saying that and you can pick up a book or watch something for entertainment, or occupy your time otherwise. There’s always something to do — to the point that I often feel as if I’m in a rush to do as much as possible before I inevitably die — so there’s no reason to constantly fall back on one particular thing. But if the answer is no, and you truly cannot think of yourself existing in a world without a simple means of entertainment that sure, could make you rich one day, but ultimately does little for personal growth… perhaps we have a problem here.

Or maybe this entire column is me talking out of my ass and gaming is actually the best thing ever and how lost have I become in the past year? You can let me know your thoughts in the comments, because I’d truly love to read them.

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The Honest Game Trailer For Mass Effect Is Galactic Levels Of Cool http://egmr.net/2014/08/honest-game-trailer-mass-effect-galactic-levels-cool/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/honest-game-trailer-mass-effect-galactic-levels-cool/#comments Fri, 15 Aug 2014 11:15:15 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=154273 If you’ve ever spent any amount of time on YouTube watching videos related to videogames, then you’ve likely come across Smosh Games. For those of you who haven’t, they’re a […]

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If you’ve ever spent any amount of time on YouTube watching videos related to videogames, then you’ve likely come across Smosh Games. For those of you who haven’t, they’re a bunch of really cool gamers who do fun videos with gaming themes.

A while back they started doing Honest Trailers — which is a thing that Screen Junkies does — for videogames, and they’ve released some hilarious ones thus far. You can check out all of their Honest Game Trailers here.

Now we have the Mass Effect one out, and it’s easily my favourite. And since we’ve recently had a lot of heated debate and animosity in these parts, I thought we might use Friday to calm things down a bit and have a laugh, because why the fuck not? So, check out the honest trailer for Mass Effect above, enjoy the lols, and then comment below and let us know what you think.

Then be sure to check out Smosh Games every Saturday, which is when they’ll be putting out new Honest Game Trailers for all of us to enjoy.

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Game Of Thrones Has A Definite Ending, And Fans Might Already Know It http://egmr.net/2014/08/game-thrones-definite-ending-fans-might-already-know/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/game-thrones-definite-ending-fans-might-already-know/#comments Fri, 15 Aug 2014 08:15:18 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=154180 Everyone dies. One of the biggest problems with the recent but massive success of A Song of Ice and Fire — the books that inspired the HBO series you know […]

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Everyone dies.

One of the biggest problems with the recent but massive success of A Song of Ice and Fire — the books that inspired the HBO series you know and love as Game of Thrones — is that each book takes almost forever, said with as much hyperbole as can be mustered, to release to the world. To make matters worse, author George R R Martin is no longer a sprightly young chap but now in his sixties and running out of time. Not in a morbid ‘everyone dies’ sort of way but rather, people are basically harassing him to finish the books in case he keels over and dies soon.

Given the overwhelming amount of fan pressure he might actually do just that, if not from the stress then just to spite us.

But there is good news! Even though the series of books still has two, if not three, new additions in the planning, GRRM more or less has all of it mapped out already. Which means he knows how it’s going to end. Staggeringly, as he has just revealed, we know how it’s going to end as well.

So many readers were reading the books with so much attention that they were throwing up some theories and while some of those theories were amusing bulls– and creating, some of the theories are right. At least one or two readers had put together the extremely subtle and obscure clues that I’d planted in the books and came to the right solution.

He obviously doesn’t spoil it by telling us exactly which theories are correct, but I think we all know what he’s talking about, amirite book readers? R+L=J.

Nonetheless, GRRM is not dissuaded and is steadfast about telling his story the way he has always wanted to — although, and I’d really like to ask him this one day, I’d love to know just how much of this amazing series was planned from the get-go, and how much was added on later.

I’ve wrestled with this issue, because I do want to surprise my readers. I hate predictable fiction as a reader, I don’t want to write predictable fiction. I want to surprise and delight my reader and take them in directions they didn’t see coming. But I can’t change the plans … I wrestled with that issue and I came to the conclusion that changing it would be a disaster, because the clues were there. You can’t do that, so I’m just going to go ahead. Some of my readers who don’t read the boards, which thankfully there are hundreds of thousands of them, will still be surprised and other readers will say: ‘see, I said that four years ago, I’m smarter than you guys.’

Because if all of our lives has taught us anything, it’s that being more correct or better than someone else is an easy ticket to acceptance…

If you’d like to read some fan theories — obvious spoiler warnings included — you can check out a few here, but there are a multitude of them to be found online. Not all true, of course.

A Song of Ice and Fire — Fantasy Mystery series of books? I’m down.

What about you? Are you glad that the ending is more or less planned, so that even if GRRM bites it we’ll get the closure we want out of the series? The poor man had to turn down the opportunity for a cameo in last season’s Game of Thrones because he was busy working on the book. I really hope fans let up and give him the time and space he needs to create the next entry in this masterpiece series.

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GRRM Talks Racial Diversity In Game Of Thrones http://egmr.net/2014/08/grrm-talks-racial-diversity-game-thrones/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/grrm-talks-racial-diversity-game-thrones/#comments Thu, 14 Aug 2014 11:15:51 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=154173 Or: Game Of Thrones Will Be Blacking Up For Future If you’ve read any of the A Song of Ice and Fire books then you would be forgiven for looking […]

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Or: Game Of Thrones Will Be Blacking Up For Future

If you’ve read any of the A Song of Ice and Fire books then you would be forgiven for looking at the Game of Thrones HBO series and wondering where all of the colourful characters have gone to. By colourful, we refer to racial diversity although in the books it could quite literally be taken to be colourful since after all, Daario Naharis really has purple hair. So there’s that.

Typically with the TV show characters of colour are reserved for minor roles and the only really notable changes to the book that involved racial diversity involved a pirate and a traitorous antagonist, with Salladhor Saan and Xaro Xhoan Daxos respectively. Also, male nudity is entirely warped but that’s a topic for another article.

Author of the books George R R Martin has since come out and talked about the problem of racial diversity and his solution is that he will be giving “characters of color” larger albeit still secondary roles in his upcoming and highly anticipated sixth boook, Winds of Winter.

Here is Martin’s response to a fan who claimed that the lack of racial diversity “really hurts” before asking, “must all black people in the series be servants, guards, or charlatans?”

Westeros around 300AC is nowhere near as diverse as 21st century America, of course… but with that being said, I do have some ‘characters of color’ who will have somewhat larger roles in WINDS OF WINTER. Admittedly, these are secondary and tertiary characters, though not without importance.

Of course, I am talking about the books here, and you are talking about the show, which is a thing apart. I do think HBO and David and Dan are doing what they can to promote diversity as well, as witness the casting of Areo Hotah, which you mention. Of course, Hotah IS a guard… but he is also a viewpoint character in the novels, a brave and loyal warrior.

For those of you who don’t read the books, Areo Hotah serves as personal bodyguard and advisor to Doran Martell and many of the prince of Dorne’s scenes happen through Hotah’s perspective. He’s an interesting and well-fleshed out character who in fairness does make a pretty large impact on the story down south.

Meanwhile, I guess we’ll have to comfort ourselves with ‘characters of color’ in a far more literal sense. Yes okay, our TV show Daario doesn’t have his purple hair and we’re yet to meet a certain other blue-haired character, but at least we have our Red Lady. Right? Right, guys?! The night is dark and full of terror, guys.

What do you think about it? Should HBO seek to add in more characters for the sake of representation or is it okay and is this person just having a cry and a moan? Let us know in the comments.

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eGamer Podcast #93: Rise Of A Groot http://egmr.net/2014/08/egamer-podcast-93-rise-groot/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/egamer-podcast-93-rise-groot/#comments Thu, 14 Aug 2014 09:00:18 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=154033 Recorded: 12 August 2014 Welcome to episode ninety-three of the eGamer Podcast, which has all of your Gamescom 2014 and Guardians of the Galaxy need. Don’t worry, no spoilers on […]

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Recorded: 12 August 2014

Welcome to episode ninety-three of the eGamer Podcast, which has all of your Gamescom 2014 and Guardians of the Galaxy need. Don’t worry, no spoilers on the latter. But plenty spoilers about Gamescom, we’re afraid. Also included is some Thabolicious magic!

Topics discussed this week include the new Tomb Raider being an Xbox exclusive, spoiler-free Guardians of the Galaxy discussion and EA Access.

Here are the shownotes for this week’s episode:

  • Obligatory Assassin’s Creed mention.
  • What’s with all the dead people this week?
  • But why is everyone mourning a dead actor?
  • Hitler was actually a really great guy… before that whole thing with the Jews.
  • We try to figure out why the next Tomb Raider is an Xbox exclusive.
  • It’s time to talk Guardians of the Galaxy! (No spoilers, don’t worry.)
  • We have some Avengers recommendations for everyone.
  • But have you seen Call of Duty: Titanfall?
  • Someone wants this chess set.
  • Is Microsoft pretending Kinect doesn’t exist?
  • Shit gets seriously racist.
  • What exactly is EA Access and why is it a thing?
  • We answer your question.

Don’t forget that you can subscribe to the RSS feed so you never miss an episode. Enjoy.

Direct Download | Libsyn | iTunes | RSS

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Let’s Get Something Straight About Tomb Raider, Console Gamers http://egmr.net/2014/08/lets-get-something-straight-tomb-raider-console-gamers/ http://egmr.net/2014/08/lets-get-something-straight-tomb-raider-console-gamers/#comments Wed, 13 Aug 2014 15:00:32 +0000 http://egmr.net/?p=154126 Having resisted the urge to type this up for just over half the day, I’ve decided to bite the bullet and just do it. This one is aimed specifically for […]

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Having resisted the urge to type this up for just over half the day, I’ve decided to bite the bullet and just do it. This one is aimed specifically for those PS4 fanboys who are now spouting off statements of never buying an Xbox One (as if they were going to in the first place) and complaining about how Microsoft is ruining gaming forever. (The rest of you are okay.) Let’s get something straight:

You don’t have to play every game ever.

The gaming industry certainly does not exist to cater to your every whim.

So let’s stop this bullshit about how Rise of the Tomb Raider being an Xbox exclusive is somehow detrimental to your very existence. It is a videogame. It’s not the fucking freshly-mapped human genome. It will not change your life. You will play literally hundreds of other games in your life, more if you’re lucky.

So why go on as if this is the end of the world as we know it?

Oh but it’s about the principle and how dare Microsoft steal from gamers! I have to ask: If it was said that the next Tomb Raider would be only on PS4, would everyone still have kicked up such a massive fuss or, more likely, would everyone have laughed at how the Xbox One was denied yet another great game and also where’s Kinect. After all, it’s cool to hate on the Xbox One even when Microsoft is bending over backwards to make up for their past mistakes — bless Phil Spencer, he’s even pretending Kinect doesn’t exist now.

PS4 fans especially, you guys are proving to be the scum of the gaming world, time and time again. And it’s getting ridiculous now.

Crystal Dynamics does not owe you anything. Their success was not built on a single title, nor on a single platform. They certainly don’t have to answer to you either. At least in this case — if it was about on-disc DLC or some genuinely evil business practice, then fair game.

And your screams of not wanting an Xbox One now because how dare they take a game away… I mean fuck, do you even know the kind of deals that Sony has pulled in order to secure exclusivity rights on their side? I’m not saying I do but since we’re all just making assumptions and getting upset, I thought I might throw in one of my own. Is this how we as gamers must act every time something doesn’t go our way?

If you don’t have an Xbox One and don’t plan on buying one then just sit down and play your PS4 games. You won’t get Sunset Overdrive, nor Quantum Break, nor the next Tomb Raider. And that’s okay because they’re just fucking games, for crying out loud. Besides, you’ll get Uncharted 4 and The Last of Us Remastered and you know what? I’m okay with that because again, they’re just fucking games.

I cannot emphasise this enough.

Acting as if Crystal Dynamics and Microsoft walked into your house and swore your mom does nothing for this industry. More so, it does nothing for gaming. So do everyone a favour and grow the fuck up.

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