That’s What She Said: The Elusive Gamer Girlfriend
It’s apparently every guy gamer’s dream; if the memes are anything to go by. A girlfriend (who is almost always super-hot by conventional standards) who miraculously loves gaming as much as you. What this translates to (if we go along with the fantasy) is days and nights filled with Call of Duty (semi naked) and then days and nights of really hot sex. This is not real. This is just the premise story for really bad porn. Here is the truth about dating a girl gamer:
- We are fundamentally gamers (gender aside). As you all know, there are many different genres of games, and your mutual love of gaming may never touch sides. For example, I will not play sports games (unless there is a really decent one about horse riding that’s not called Assassin’s Creed) or racing games. If your idea of a great night is playing FIFA, I can assure you that I will be reading a book instead.
- Following on from that point, even if we both enjoy the same genres, it does not mean that I always want to have you around when I’m playing games. If I have been waiting on a release and am really excited about it, best you know that come release date the only thing getting attention from me is my console.
- We wear normal clothes and normal pyjamas. If you are unsure about what normal pyjamas looks like, go to Woolworths or watch 500 Days of Summer. This means that when we are gaming, either late at night (or more likely for me) very early in the morning, it is with messy hair and normal pyjamas. Erase the thought from your head that girl gamers wear ridiculously adorable and skimpy sleeping attire (and game like that) with matching headsets while playing some online FPS.
- We love gaming and we love talking about gaming. By this I mean we have brains and will disagree with you sometimes. Do not expect me to love Halo (or Microsoft) just because you do. You can expect that I will get into heated discussions with you about the ending of BioShock Infinite (post Burial at Sea ep 2) and whether Jim Sterling is amazing or just contrary for the sake of being contrary. And also, we do not want to talk about gaming all the time. We have other interests too. As difficult as it may be to believe, I do not want to always be talking about Hearthstone.
- We probably dance on the feminist side of things. So I grew up playing Mario where I was perpetually trying to find the princess. Translate that basic “male saviour” storyline and you have about 90% of the games I played. Just because I went to strip clubs in Duke Nukem (and still do in GTA V) does not mean that I am not going to get angry about all the slutty cosplay that goes on, or people thinking that Remember Me would have done better if it had a male lead (that is just a really bad game, stemming entirely from a completely retarded combat system), or the entire Assassin’s Creed Unity saga.
- It’s insulting if you think that you have to lower your game when playing with us, or that you need to play more casually. I’m pretty sure that I’m close to the 10,000 hours mark that Malcolm Gladwell talks about when becoming an expert in a field. Losing fifty games in Hearthstone is not fun, but all is fair in love and war (Hearthstone is war).
All in all though, we are a pretty awesome bunch, even though we are nothing like the memes. Like with any girlfriend, you should be dating an equal and a girlfriend who also enjoys gaming just means that you have one more interest in common. It shouldn’t be the holy grail on your list of boxes to tick (personally, I am very far from a holy grail).
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Likewise, just because someone doesn’t game, does not mean that they should be a write off. Also as far as I’m concerned, being addicted to Candy Crush Saga definitely counts as being a bit of a gamer. Girl gamers are not trophies and they are certainly not elusive, especially if what you are looking for is a real person. And even though it’s pretty cool to be with someone you play Guitar Hero battles against, we may also be harbouring American Psycho tendencies. Just a little joke…