Peaception: Life As A Videogame
We have all thought about it now and again: What would life be like if it were more like our favourite videogames? Oh my goodness, life would be even more entertaining if not a tad crazy if all of the things below became a norm.
Babies as demos:
- You’ll Be Able To Play (Expensive) PS2 Games On Your PS4 Now | 2 months ago
- Jessica Jones Disempowers Its Male Characters And The Effect Is Refreshing | 2 months ago
- Hell Is 30 000 Deathclaws Tearing Through Boston And It’s Glorious | 2 months ago
- Sony Santa Monica Is Teasing Something Truly Strange | 2 months ago
We all know someone who makes us lose our faith in humanity, for example Flava Flav. Just imagine a world were aspiring parents can get a demo version of their future spawn and they can also select which stage in its growth they would like their child. So if your child turns out to be an annoying prick, paedophile, serial killer or worse, Justin Bieber, they can decide to not go any further with the conception. Please note: I do listen to Justin, so I’m not hating at all.
Looting is a good thing:
Imagine a world were looting is encouraged, actually dammit it is a way of life. If we were to follow videogame rules, you can get some awesome stuff by looting anything and everything. Homeless people will have more competition when it comes to trash bins. One thing we would need to curb though, is the amount of murders that will occur all in the name of looting; everyone knows that nothing beats looting a dead body because you get to keep that person’s awesome stuff, so if you are poor you would be safe, but celebrities and the rich would become an endangered species. PETA would be living in a nightmare because you can even loot pets. Nothing is sacred, everything is permitted.
Have fulfilling arguments and relive your favourite moments thanks to checkpoints:
Have you ever been in an argument and afterwards you replay it in your head and think about all the awesome things you could have said to pwn in that argument? If you had checkpoints you could think of all the things you could have said, then just select to load the checkpoint before the argument and go slaughter that person. Failed an exam? Don’t sweat, just reload the checkpoint. Drove over your neighbour’s cat? Just reload the checkpoint. Accidentally poisoned your loved one? Yes, you got it, reload the checkpoint. Ever wonder what your life would have been like if you had chosen a certain path? Well just create a separate save, then reload the checkpoint and select a different path. These are some of many scenarios that we normal people face every day and life would be so much better if we had checkpoints.
A cure for everything thanks to medi-packs:
Medi-packs cure EVERYTHING from multiple gunshot wounds to knife wounds. You could be on the brink of death and witnessing the white light but all of that goes away with the use of a good medi-pack. Actually if you think about it, if we harnessed the power of the medi-pack there would be no more terminal illness; if you are suffering from a slight case of AIDS, you could just use your medi-pack and carry on with your promiscuous life. (If that’s your thing.) We should probably limit the number of medi-packs given to each person, though, just to avoid people abusing the medi-system.
Don’t like violence? Turn the gore off:
We do get those squeamish people where even the sight of fake blood in movies affects them. So why not cater for our weak counterparts by allowing them to adjust the gore settings? During any form of violence their vision gets blurred or the violent scene will be greyed out with no blood. If you are a gamer though, games won’t be that much fun because you are censoring the good parts, but to each their own, so we definitely must include those gore settings in real life.
Co-op your life:
If you are going through a really extremely rough patch in your life, be it personal or work related, just imagine how much easier it would be if you got a friend to help by co-op’ing your life. Can’t nail those presentations or projects? Get that Einstein of a friend to do it for you by adding them as your co-op partner. Just can’t find the courage to approach the object of your affection? You can easily get a friend of yours to help you through that difficult stage by talking on your behalf, but if the object of your affection decides to go with your friend, don’t worry, if you remember you can just reload from your last checkpoint and choose not to co-op that part of your life.
Earn life points and level up:
We usually know the process when it comes to birthdays, you get a year older and if you are lucky you get presents as well. Just imagine every time it’s your birthday you earn life points and with those life points earned you use them to level up your favourite personal traits like for example your personality, sense of humour, intelligence, actually whatever you fancy, or even level up your favourite gear. You will be living your very own RPG and it will be EPIC.
Choose which difficulty you want your life to be:
All I can say about this is, I bet you almost everyone will select to experience their life on easy mode and no one will mock them about it. If, though, anyone will choose the hardcore option, they would be my hero because holy Moses! Imagine how difficult that life would be? It will be like cat poo; actually that would be an insult to cat poo, it will be really bad.
One thing though I would not like to experience is when you are out with a bunch of your friends, then you start lagging or you time out and you end up at home, unable to join your friends again, or when you buy anything new you will have to wait a certain amount of time to use it because it will be running an install or loading. Alas, these rules don’t apply in real life so we just leave it to our imaginations, what life would be like, and thank goodness we have games so we can actually live out some of our fantasies through them.