Video: A Tribute To The Xbox One, My Sincere Apology For A Heated Rage
If you suffer from “too long, didn’t read” syndrome, the video up above covers the content, courtesy of me! Below is if you’re unable to watch or would rather read.
If you saw my Xbox One rage recently, well, I’ve been thinking about it and I thought maybe I was too harsh. So, I did a lot of soul-searching and I realised that, you know, sometimes we react in anger, and you need to be able to own up like a man and admit that you took it too far. I decided, to make up for it, that I would write a tribute to Microsoft and Xbox One.
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I won’t say that I’m any good at this kind of thing, really, but in life you make do with what you have. With that said, as serious as I can be, I’ve written what I hope will make up for that rage session.
Oh Xbox One, do you even have a game?
Or are you nought but just a silly name?
Oh Microsoft, the things you do for fame.
What is wrong with you, putting even EA to shame!
A next gen TV simulator is so very lame.
We know that you’re all gamers here.
But sorry we don’t have any games near.
So how about some TV to quell your fear?
Please ask questions, but our answers won’t be very clear.
Our policies are still being revised by the overseer.
Oh stop being whiners, it’s just a used game fee.
You entitled little shits, we won’t give you games you bought for free.
What’s wrong with you all, do your eyes not see?
Look how sexy our console is with the TV.
Games? What are those? Fuck off, and wait for E3.
We’ll have 15 exclusives, 8 of them new Kinect IPs.
There’s no always on, just be online once a day.
A piece of DRM a day makes the doctor go away!
By the way if you wanna watch TV, please pay.
Paying for Sports channels is so yesterday.
There was no reason at all to delay this reveal to May.
Hi! My name is Don Mattrick, and I have a Douche Smile.
Gamers suck, we won’t be giving you any answers for a while.
You can’t deny that the Xbox One has so much of style.
We beat that invisible PS4 box by a country mile!
Oh I’m sorry, we seem to have misplaced the games pile.
Let me just say, who cares whether it’s any fun.
We already own you, with Kinect 2.0 you can never run.
All these clueless dingbats say the PS4 has won.
Son, you’re all forgetting how it’s done.
You can watch ALL the TV with the Xbox One.
Sit your ass down, we have dog and you have none.
And that’s it, the deal is done.
Get out of our sight, and buy an Xbox One.