Video: A Tribute To The PS4, For All It Has Done To Fight The Xbox One
If you suffer from “too long, didn’t read” syndrome, the video up above covers the content, courtesy of me! Below is if you’re unable to watch or would rather read.
If you saw my Xbox One tribute last week, then, well, after that some people said “Tody, why are you such a Sony fan boy?”
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I mean, yes, I love my PS3, but I am not a Sony fan boy. I am, simply, a potato.
So to honour the truth of me not being a fan boy, I wrote a tribute to Sony and the PlayStation 4 for their reveal in February. I hope that this will show the truth, that I’m not a fan boy, and maybe the Xbox One just has AIDS.
Hey Sony, your intro speech was longer than the whole reveal.
I grew fat from belly to brains because of that PR meal.
Every time you inferred a PlayStation Empire, I clubbed a baby seal.
The Wii U has mario, so buying your PS4 is not a done deal.
Your PR blabber is boring, don’t you care how I feel?
Where is the PS4, I wonder, with every minute of my life you steal.
I liked your reveal event with no console.
For that, many gamers have called you an asshole.
But I? I simply call you, a professional troll.
What you did was show us a lap dancer without the pole.
For all we know, the PS4 is a laser-powered fish bowl.
The invisible console, wouldn’t that be a noble goal?
Hi, I’m the amazing David Cage and this old man has a face.
All you inferior mortals, be silent and know your place.
There are more polygons here, than in the entire human race.
In fact my engine has more polygons than you, in a single shoe lace.
I am so damn conceited, that with my polygons I rest this case.
Here’s Killzone: Shadow Fall, we did NOT steal from Far Cry 3.
A knife to the head beats an arrow to the knee.
How about infamous, here’s something cool for you to see.
Sorry there’s no real gameplay, that would be beneath me.
But what about Deep Down, could you do these graphics on a Wii?
If anyone complains about no Uncharted 4, please dump them in the sea.
This tech demo has millions of exploding particle bubbles.
There is nothing like pretentious blue bubbles to cure your troubles.
You’re still going on about no PS4? We’ll ignore your squabbles.
Because whatever your life is worth, our PS4 is worth double.
Anything critics throw at us, we’ll reduce it to rubble.
Now not another word about the absence of the PS4.
Our console is sexier than Kevin Butler, of this we’re sure.
But does buying something you haven’t even seen, make you a whore?
No, says Sony, this is a gaming device, at its core.
Yes it has sharing, and social networking and friends and more.
But those are just shitty things the casual world demands by law.
Now we’ll go, we’ve shown you what this controller without a box is for.
So would you kindly accept that you’re a whore and buy the mighty PS4!