The 10 Commandments Of Gaming
Gaming has become such a big part of so many people’s lives that some might even consider it a religion in some way. We worship our legends and we pray to our altars of gaming on a daily basis. Our mass consists of Mountain Dew and various kinds of cheesy snacks and treats. Our church consists of online lobbies where other worshipers dwell and share the great majesty that is gaming. Also, EA is our Satan. Had to throw that one in there. But what would be our commandments? The rules that are set up that we have to follow in order to be enlightened? Well, you’re in luck because I have them right here.
10. Thou Shalt Always Play For Fun
Gaming isn’t supposed to be a chore. It’s not supposed to be something that can be considered a second job. Play the games you like, but always do it for fun. Whether that’s running around in an MMO for months at a time or occasionally playing Plants Vs. Zombies on your iPad, you should always do what you love to do. The word “game” means entertainment and that’s what you should get.
9. Thou Shalt Not Insinuate Copulation With Thy Neighbor’s Mother
Gaming lobbies can either consist of like minded individuals that are fun to play and interact with or they can consist of 12 year olds whose only desire is to boink your loving mother for no good reason at all. These individuals will eventually grow up and look at that time as their “dark phase”, but nonetheless they are still around to torment you. This may be annoying and irritating, but the gaming gods have given us the holy power of the Mute Button so it can be avoided.
8. Thou Shalt Respect Thy Neighbor’s Altar
Nothing is more useless than platform wars. It’s a pointless exercise that only breeds conflict in a place that already has too much of it. Who cares if you play on a PlayStation, Xbox, PC, Wii or even an iPad. We are all gamers that play games and that’s something that should be celebrated and not forgotten while we bicker about which one runs a specific game the best. Respect other people’s choices and game on.
7. Thou Shalt Not Have Online Passes And Always-On DRM
Seriously, stop it.
6. Thou Shalt Celebrate Thy Religion
Everyday, more and more negativity arises in the gaming industry and this year specifically we have seen many negative statements and events. It’s crucial that we do not lose ourselves in this tidal wave of hate comments and controversies and forget the reasons why we play games in the first place. Don’t evolve into a troll whose only goal is to spread hate and negativity wherever you go and not even play games anymore for personal enjoyment.
5. Thou Shalt Not Shoot Thy Neighbor
Co-op can be a lot of fun, but you get some people that just thrive on being assclowns that only like to troll the other player. Sure, there’s a time and place for everything, but keep it modest. You guys are supposed to be a team so act like it. Co-op is a bonding experience that can make good friends into great friends so don’t run it by throwing a sticky grenade on your partner’s crotch every minute. Also, teamkilling is stupid so don’t do it.
4. Thou Shalt Respect All Genres
We all have different tastes and it’s pointless to prosecute people if they have different tastes than ourselves. If one guy likes to play Call of Duty for 8 hours a day and another likes to play Guitar Hero for 8 hours a day then that’s their choice. I don’t particularly enjoy fighting, sport or RTS games, but I’m not going to start calling people idiots for playing those genres. Once again, do what you love and leave other people alone that are doing something they love.
3. Gaming Shalt Be Enjoyed By All Genders And Colours
Gaming is a genderless and colourless entertainment form. We are all gamers and it does not matter if we are female, male, black, blue or white. So stop with the “tits or GTFO” and “black people only play FIFA” jokes because they are pointless. Gaming can be enjoyed by all demographics and it’s not exclusive to one group or another. Hell, your grandma might kick your ass in Mortal Kombat for all you know.
2. Thou Shalt Support Thou Creators
Piracy is wrong as we all know, but I do sometimes see the reasonings behind it. Regardless, it’s always better to support the people that worked their fingers to the bone day and night to deliver an experience to you. For example, I can easily Jailbreak my iPad and get premium games for free, but I would much rather pay that measly 0.99c and support the men and women that worked so hard to develop a game from scratch.
1. Thou Shalt Always Kick Ass And Game On
Gaming is our religion, place of peace, escape method, obsession, passion, lifestyle and outlet. Embrace it and always game on no matter what stands in your way.
And there you have the commandments for gaming. It’s a simple list that I believe we all can follow without much trouble. Now go to your altars and worship the majesty that is gaming.
All hail Gordon Freeman.