Which Gaming Platform Offers The Best Sexual Partners? Definitely Not PC…
And yes, I know I’m going to hell for making that image the header for this article. You are too, if you laughed. Meet me at the bar?
Here’s a rather interesting and completely irrelevant study involving gaming platforms and the performance of various persons in coital activity. The study effectively showed that Xbox 360 owners are considered the best in the bedroom. Who knew, right?
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The study was carried out with some 1,747 gamers’ partners from around the UK as part of research into external influences on relationships. (I’m just surprised that that many gamers have partners, but anyway.) Upon establishing that gaming was what their partners did for leisure, respondents were then asked which gaming console their partner played on most frequently, with Xbox 360 leading the charts at 31%, followed by PlayStation 3 at 26%, with PC coming in last at 10%. Apparently having a gaming PC gives you a 90% chance of being single? Okay I totally thumb-sucked that assumption for humour.
The next part of the study involved the following question: How would you rate your partner in the bedroom? Answers came in (heh) as follows:
Excellent – 11%
Very good – 14%
Good – 27%
Average – 26%
Below average – 20%
You may extrapolate as you please from these results, however when broken down proportionally between the most frequently played consoles, the result was that Xbox 360 owners were by far the best in the bedroom, with 54% of them being described as ‘good’ or above, and 22% regarded as ‘excellent’ by partners. Players of the Wii surprisingly also put in a good showing with 47% described as ‘good’ or above. Must be all that waggling.
By contrast, only 3% of PC gamers were described as ‘excellent’ with 8% regarded as ‘very good’.
The last part of the study involved respondents answering questions based on the frequency of gaming compared to bedroom activity, together with their opinion on the ratio. 52% felt that the balance between the two was ‘just right’ whereas 21% wanted ‘more sex, less gaming’ with a surprising 11% actually claiming to want ‘less sex, more gaming’ from their partner. The prudes…
George Charles of VoucherCodesPro had the following to say, regarding the survey:
“So, according to our survey, it seems that if you own an Xbox 360, you can give yourself a pat on the back for bedroom performance. Well, one in five of you can at least. For other gamers it definitely seems there’s room for improvement. And despite it being an undeniably good game, perhaps Bioshock Infinite doesn’t act as a natural performance enhancer! Of course, bedroom performance is open to interpretation so we can’t read too much into it. PC gamers shouldn’t be too disheartened by our results. If you’re seriously into your gaming then the poor assessment could just be a cry for attention from your partner. But then again if you’re in the ‘less sex, more gaming’ scenario and still not highly rated, then it could be time to just marry the PC.”
So what is it that makes Xbox 360 gamers so superior at sex? Is it all that Call of Duty and Gears of War online? (Definitely not Halo.) Is it all of the achievement unlocking that revs us up and releases some endorphins? Or is it the pride we feel each time we look at our GamerScore which gives us that little bit of extra confidence? You decide. For now, I’m going to start up my Xbox 360 and unlock some achievements.