Wolf’s Wicked Words: 2013, Gaming And Cooking Oil
It’s a new year filled with lots and lots of gaming promise.
Imagine, if you will, the number “13” silently knocking the number “12” unconscious. Dragging it behind a lonely old shed. Paint peeling from the woodwork. The camera pans away from the shed with nothing but the shed and a few lonely trees in view. A soft thud can be heard from the distance and just like that; the year 2012 is no more. The murderous 2013 prevails.
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I felt the need to have a more foreboding opening to my first column of 2013. The reason for this is due to everyone’s happy and cheerful New Year’s resolutions; which in all fairness gets pushed aside very easily. I’m not against it, just being realistic.
Many of us decide to eat healthier, exercise more and play games in a more balanced fashion. Easier said than done.
Another reason for the gritty and murderous 2013 opening is that my last column wasn’t my last one. It was, according to the Mayans, but here we are.
I’m looking forward to a bunch of aspects this year; gaming and non-gaming related. I do however get beaten with a rusty bicycle-chain if I dwell too long on the non-gaming related subjects.
Where to begin?
We have a bunch of great and promising titles releasing this year. There’s a LOT of titles releasing the first two quarters. Starting today with Devil May Cry.
Dead Space 3, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, Crysis 3, Gears of War: Judgment, God of War: Ascension, The Last of Us and a game that I’ve mentioned more than a few times and I really do not need to mention it, but I want to and the voices will not leave me be if I don’t. BioShock: Infinite. (Drool.) All these titles have my attention, but the one connected to the voices will have the majority of attention.
I’m also kind of excited about Rayman: Legends; I do not own a Wii U, so it is rather unorthodox being excited by it, but I am. Stop judging me.
We’ve got hack and slash, kick-ass power armour, misshapen creatures, cover-based shooting, lots of blood, gangs and zombies alongside a floating city. What’s not to love? We’re guaranteed to have a blast.
Besides the games I want gush about, there is the unavoidable rumours of announcements regarding “next-generation consoles”. I’m not against prettier visuals and games with larger scale and whatnot. The aspects putting me off of all this is, a): the mountains of cash needed to stay up to date, and b): the evisceration of buying second-hand games. What the actual copulation is up with that?
Seriously people!? Buying a game on release day or not long after release is guaranteed to put a dent in your finances. Whenever I’m curious about a game that isn’t on the top of my “must-play” list; I’ll usually look for a second hand copy, because waiting for the retail price to drop is pure and triple distilled torture. (Also, I’m curious about most games. That just adds to the pain.)
The other rumour circulating is that consoles will need a permanent internet connection. That goes alongside the second hand games are for nOobz debate and if that is indeed the case, I’m fornicated. That won’t be a problem for the uncapped land line folks out there. Unfortunately, I’m not among these folk.
Perhaps I’ll sit in a dark corner reading tabloids from the 90’s.
What I’m currently doing is wrong. (That sounded a little too much like the gargoyles going around schools talking about drugs and heavy petting.) I’m totally jumping the gun here. I’m planning dark corner reading and wrist examinations with a flower-shaped razor based solely on rumours. For all we know, the next generation of consoles may run on cooking oil and depending on your accomplishments, you may receive a daffodil made from your game discs and the aforementioned cooking oil.