Medicinal Gaming For The Masses
Welcome, welcome! You made a fine choice selecting our establishment for the solution to what ails you. Would you like to take a seat? By all means, sit. We take pride in making our customers feel at home. Would you like a refreshment or perhaps a hot beverage? Take your pick. Have you already decided on something we can help you with or do you intend to wing it?
Oh, you are only a curious wanderer passing by our fine little walled box of wonders? Why that certainly entitles me to enlighten you with all the needed information. You see, our services are much needed, we are not the money seeking machine you will find on every other corner. Oh, no! We take pride in helping those in need and have a wide selection of gaming needs that are guaranteed to help any and all ailments!
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Please, take a look at our rejuvenating list of gaming goodness.
Alleviation For Feeling Down In The Dumps
There’s no fooling anyone or yourself; everyone becomes discouraged every now and then. Some more than others, no question about it. Therefore we gladly present to you our gaming solution for this specific problem at hand. Whenever you feel beat down or perhaps tormented by the drivel life constantly flings your way, do consider the following method.
Humour. Just humour. Not a particularly long word, but it’s the most powerful tool when needing a lift from a dampened mood. An ideal candidate: Portal 2. Whether you’re playing single player or co-op with a buddy, the humour is a definite win. Co-op can be looked upon as group therapy. Wait! Scratch that. You don’t want to bludgeon your co-op partner with a weighty object due to his / her lack of listening skills. Stick to the humour instead. GlaDOS, Wheatley and Cave Johnson will most certainly help those feel good hormones along.
Mend A Physical Injury
If you’ve sustained a physical injury and you are indeed able to game, I have no better cure to keep the mind occupied and help the healing process along. As always the solution is gaming. Always. Workers are striking? Gaming. Health issues? Gaming. Need inspiration? Gaming. The list unfolds to an endless amount of problems that shall be solved with gaming.
All kidding aside, if you’re up to playing games when you’ve had a massive jolt of pain spiking to your brain and now slowly remains there, gaming is a sure way of recovery. At least your thoughts won’t centralise about the constant pain you’re in.
Please, don’t go jumping from a tree onto a moon-walking porcupine making his way across brimstone on purpose, just to play some games. Make it look like an accident.
If this is indeed your scenario, make sure to play something that makes you feel good. Preferably not something that tells the tale of the cruelties of humanity or about surgical procedures taking a turn for the worst.
Recommendation: Saints Row: The Third.
Sorting out that Anger Management
Despite being able to keep my cool when something angers the living crap out of me, I surely need to vent that anger somehow. Enter the predictable answer: Gaming! There’s few games that help me like Left 4 Dead 2. Believe me; listening to your favourite music and shooting the living hogwash out of zombies and watching their entrails spill out as they keep running towards you, for the sole purpose of just shooting them again is a bona fide way of getting rid of the unwanted anger. It’s much safer than throwing a brick through the aforementioned anger-inducing source.
Red Faction: Guerilla will also prove to be useful for mashing everything to smithereens with a hammer… on Mars… like a bad-ass. Need I say more?
People have somehow developed the capability to reach the point of boredom abnormally fast and it’s only increasing. Coming from the 8-bit “TV games” era; it’s shocking to see the amount of people complaining about today’s games being boring, when we have played through the same game over and over struggling with the same boss battle over and over, without complaining. What happened?
Besides me complaining about my lack of understanding the gamers of today, I shall admit that I too have gotten bored with everything laying about. Books, movies, work and yes, even games. I truly find that games needing to spark your interest again tend to be the mindless or not so serious titles found under the radar of today’s AAA insanity. Be honest; you don’t want to be crawling constantly through the dried-up blood of your fellow soldiers, and not having so much as a single chuckle in an entire game. Whenever I feel I need something else or something that doesn’t demand my constant deep-thinking attention due to an over-complicated narrative or just being too serious, I play titles such as LEGO Batman or Rayman Origins.
Don’t get bored so easily people, we have the perfect solution: Gaming! (Yes, it’s overly predictable. At least I’m not suggesting you to clean the bathtub with hydrochloric acid for the LOL’s.)
Needing An Over-Exposure Of Fun
While this may not be the ideal medical urgency like; for instance, a bullet to the knee, it’s a requirement to have fun once in a while. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” If I may use The Shining as an example to play as much games as you possibly can, let me inspire you do so. Sure, work and everyday activities need our commitment, just remember that a balance is needed. For that balance; gaming-wise, I urge you to play titles like these, purely to have fun: Just Cause 2, Mini Ninjas and Serious Sam. The list goes on.
If all else fails, with no hope to be seen on the horizon of life and you’ve lost all hope in humanity, watch this. (It works for me. Although I sincerely hope it won’t encourage you to jump from the nearest heightened building instead…)